One of the challenges of living in two places and two cultures is that just when I think I've got a handle on things, I realize that I don't.
For Peanut's birthday this year, (her 3rd!) I was determined to bake a birthday cake. This is fairly uncommon in Japan from what I see, and I felt strongly that since this is the 3rd time we've celebrated her birthday here, she deserved better than a store or bakery cake. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that, but she won't get a party with all her friends, birthday crowns, etc. like many of her American friends are used to getting. Birthdays here in Japan seem to be pretty low-key (at least in my husband's family) and that's not what I want for Peanut. When I was a child, my parents didn't do anything extravagant for my birthday, but I was the special one on my birthday. My mom baked me a cake, and I'd often get to choose what we ate for dinner. It was little things, but things that let me know I was super important that day.
Anyway, I set out to find all the right ingredients and baking supplies including cake pans, sprinkles for decorating and even a "3" candle. I was surprised to find everything I needed, thanks to a friend who pointed me in the driection of a fabulous baking supply store. I came home and started to bake the cake. Not only did it look weird and puffy while baking, but when I tasted a sample, it just tasted....off. Metallic or bitter might be the words to describe the aftertaste. I had carefully measured and calculated everything because I've made mistakes before when converting measurements from English to metric units.
And yet.
When I asked Gboy to taste the cake he said he could taste a hint of something but didn't know that he'd complain about it. Still. I was hesitant about whether or not to serve this to his family. We went to the kitchen and double checked thee ingredients. Yup. I had used baking soda instead of baking powder. After all this time, I still couldn't remember that "tansan" is baking soda - NOT powder.
I was incredibly disappointed. I wanted it to work out for a change. I wanted to be successful at this. In the end, the cake was frosted and sprinkled and Peanut licked the frosting and sprinkles off not giving one whit about the cake anyway. And we did buy a back-up cake just before others arrived. Everyone was happy!
And lest this be a total downer of a story, I should mention that the piñata we set out to make was a huge success with Peanut and her cousins and the adults got a real kick out of watching the kids try to smash it. All's well that end's well!
Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label culture. Show all posts
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Too Much Togetherness?
Is it possible? I think most of us would say, "Yes, at some point there IS such a thing as too much togetherness." Today we spent all day honoring and remembering Gboy's grandmother who passed away two years ago. There's a Buddhist tradition of doing a kind of memorial service and this was her 2nd annual. Last year it felt very fitting and appropriate. This year is mostly felt exhausting and like a chore that had to be done. Fewer of the extended relatives showed up. And the whole thing seemed sort of... obligatory.
Despite the fact that this day was about his own mother, my father-in-law spent the day (even while his whole family and guests were here) in his bedroom with the door shut watching horse racing. I know this because periodically he would emerge, betting sheet in hand, to use the computer to place another online bet. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law and her husband have been walking around like zombies because they arrived here very late last night and while they would have liked to nap, they couldn't because my father-in-law was in the room they'll be sleeping in for the next couple of days. My mother-in-law spent the day running around like a chicken with her head cut off, refusing all offers of help and trying to do everything herself.
By late this afternoon, Peanut, wound-up from all the excitement of having 7 or 8 of her cousins here to play with her all day, finally melted down from lack of food (too busy to be convinced to eat) and sheer exhaustion. As my husband took her out to the car in an attempt to drive her around in the quiet and comfort of a moving vehicle (a nice safe bet for lulling her to sleep) my father-in-law kept barking, "Why are you crying?! Why are you crying?!" as they walked by. I'm not sure what on earth his purpose was. He doesn't play with or really interact much with my daughter in general. So these barking interrogations tend only to scare her and generally she tells him to "go away" if he talks to her. He certainly didn't plan to offer any assistance or help in calming her down, and in all likelihood he just escalated her anxiety.
*sigh* I'm sure I'm sensitive about all of this because I too am tired (my mother and father-in-law were up for hours last night walking around the house repeatedly slamming doors in anticipation of their daughter's arrival). As a result, Gboy and I didn't manage to get any decent sleep until well after 1am and we're tired too.
It's like so many holidays in the U.S. I guess. Everyone is so excited to get together but it takes so much work and then once you're all crammed together in one small space, suddenly things aren't as ideal as you dreamed they'd be!!
Despite the fact that this day was about his own mother, my father-in-law spent the day (even while his whole family and guests were here) in his bedroom with the door shut watching horse racing. I know this because periodically he would emerge, betting sheet in hand, to use the computer to place another online bet. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law and her husband have been walking around like zombies because they arrived here very late last night and while they would have liked to nap, they couldn't because my father-in-law was in the room they'll be sleeping in for the next couple of days. My mother-in-law spent the day running around like a chicken with her head cut off, refusing all offers of help and trying to do everything herself.
By late this afternoon, Peanut, wound-up from all the excitement of having 7 or 8 of her cousins here to play with her all day, finally melted down from lack of food (too busy to be convinced to eat) and sheer exhaustion. As my husband took her out to the car in an attempt to drive her around in the quiet and comfort of a moving vehicle (a nice safe bet for lulling her to sleep) my father-in-law kept barking, "Why are you crying?! Why are you crying?!" as they walked by. I'm not sure what on earth his purpose was. He doesn't play with or really interact much with my daughter in general. So these barking interrogations tend only to scare her and generally she tells him to "go away" if he talks to her. He certainly didn't plan to offer any assistance or help in calming her down, and in all likelihood he just escalated her anxiety.
*sigh* I'm sure I'm sensitive about all of this because I too am tired (my mother and father-in-law were up for hours last night walking around the house repeatedly slamming doors in anticipation of their daughter's arrival). As a result, Gboy and I didn't manage to get any decent sleep until well after 1am and we're tired too.
It's like so many holidays in the U.S. I guess. Everyone is so excited to get together but it takes so much work and then once you're all crammed together in one small space, suddenly things aren't as ideal as you dreamed they'd be!!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
You Say Potato, I Say Tomato
I love watching the bilingual learning process unfold. Peanut has this adorable habit lately of calling tomatoes, potatoes. Her pronunciation is perfectly Japanese "poh-tah-to" and it cracks me up every time. If we practice with her "TOmato" in small syllables she says it correctly (in fact until a few weeks ago she correctly said tomato) but as soon as she tries to say the whole word, it now comes out as potato. Fascinating!
And that's her other new word. She looks at the ceiling and says, "fascinating". We have no idea what she's looking at (the air vent?) but she smiles and giggles and says it's fascinating.
Additionally, she's has started to mix, in grammatically correct ways, both English and Japanese. We get identical requests like "apple kudasai" one minute followed by "ringo please" the next. She has also taken to saying things like "Mama is going benkyoh suru-ing" (her "Japanish" word for studying). It's unbelievable to see what she comes up with.
I love that she understands and speaks both languages without hesitation now. When we first arrived here in Japan at the end of December, she seemed hesitant to speak any Japanese to anyone other than her father. I attributed this in part to her shyness and also the fact that many people here were attempting to speak English to her (despite their own English skills limitations). I thought this might have created some confusion for Peanut. After all, she tends to catch on quickly that if she's asked a question in English she can answer it in English and vice versa.
Needless to say, not hearing the question in Japanese, why should Peanut answer it in Japanese? But this seemed to fluster my in-laws who couldn't understand why she wouldn't speak to them in Japanese. Gboy and I kept telling the in-laws that they could use Japanese as Peanut is perfectly able to comprehend them, but it took a good month or so before the adults finally started to speak to Peanut in regular Japanese - just like they would when speaking to their other grandchildren. I'm awfully glad that they did because her Japanese vocabulary is now growing exponentially and everyone here is so excited to see it and they reinforce her learning because they want to see more. It's amazing how the adults are often the slowest learners!!
And that's her other new word. She looks at the ceiling and says, "fascinating". We have no idea what she's looking at (the air vent?) but she smiles and giggles and says it's fascinating.
Additionally, she's has started to mix, in grammatically correct ways, both English and Japanese. We get identical requests like "apple kudasai" one minute followed by "ringo please" the next. She has also taken to saying things like "Mama is going benkyoh suru-ing" (her "Japanish" word for studying). It's unbelievable to see what she comes up with.
I love that she understands and speaks both languages without hesitation now. When we first arrived here in Japan at the end of December, she seemed hesitant to speak any Japanese to anyone other than her father. I attributed this in part to her shyness and also the fact that many people here were attempting to speak English to her (despite their own English skills limitations). I thought this might have created some confusion for Peanut. After all, she tends to catch on quickly that if she's asked a question in English she can answer it in English and vice versa.
Needless to say, not hearing the question in Japanese, why should Peanut answer it in Japanese? But this seemed to fluster my in-laws who couldn't understand why she wouldn't speak to them in Japanese. Gboy and I kept telling the in-laws that they could use Japanese as Peanut is perfectly able to comprehend them, but it took a good month or so before the adults finally started to speak to Peanut in regular Japanese - just like they would when speaking to their other grandchildren. I'm awfully glad that they did because her Japanese vocabulary is now growing exponentially and everyone here is so excited to see it and they reinforce her learning because they want to see more. It's amazing how the adults are often the slowest learners!!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
And Now for Something...Meatier
I've spent the last 24+ hours trying to put a less than stellar (one might say "traumatizing") OB appointment behind me. I mentally drafted and re-drafted the post that would describe how unpleasant it was and the more I thought about it, the more it frustrated me. I don't want to come off as melodramatic or anti-Japan. And so, I've chalked up most of my frustration with the appointment to cultural differences.
When I was in graduate school (the first time when I was studying public affairs and policy as opposed to the second time when I was studying library and information science - I know. Two degrees?? What was I thinking. But whatever..) I took a few public health classes that I really enjoyed. In one of the classes we spent some time talking about successful public health campaigns and especially, how to reach "under-served" populations. From the perspective of the USA, one under-served population as you might imagine, is those people who are non-English speakers. Having been on the other side of the Dr.'s desk, so to speak, I now understand why. I mean, I got it conceptually, while I was in school. And I thought that improving the "cultural competence" of medical staff sounded logical.
But now I see how vital cultural competence truly is; it's not just a buzzword or politically correct token effort. Because if I didn't have a husband willing to go with me to these appointments, I would just stop going to see the doctor here in Japan. The frustration I experience, the embarrassment, the confusion - none of it feels worth it during a pregnancy that I feel is routine. Naturally, I'm no doctor and could be wrong about my own condition or that of the baby, but I'm telling you, even with husband to take me, I don't want to go back. I don't feel any sense of understanding or compassion or accommodation from the staff of a fairly large and modern hospital system. Instead, I get what I can only assume is the routine treatment and I'm just supposed to go with it. Accept that this is "how things are done here" and that's it. I understand that the situation might be a little different if we'd chosen a hospital or clinic in a more urban area, but as I said, this one is pretty modern and I figured it wouldn't really matter since in the 2nd trimester you mostly get weighed, have an ultrasound and call it good. I didn't expect that they'd want to see me every 3 weeks, nor did I expect things to get as "invasive" as they've gotten.
But I've decided it's just not worth it to dwell on it. Instead, I'll take from this experience only the parts I want to remember and I'll just do my best to block out the rest. So..... Turns out they think I'm a little iron-deficient (just barely below the cut-off for "regular" standards here) and I'm taking this as a sign. A sign I tell you. I am MEANT to have the Big America "New York" burger at McDonald's. I missed the Texas burger, but I won't be missing the beef in the New York burger you can bet on that! And that California burger looks yummy too. This might also explain why I was overjoyed to sample the Sasebo burger the other day. You can't imagine anything like this if you think of American fast food joints. The bun was perfectly toasted, the lettuce was crispy, the sauce wasn't too skimpy or overly sloppy, the egg was fabulous...I could go on, but instead, I'm going to call it another day and get some rest. Yesterday was draining and the baby and I surely need some more rest.
When I was in graduate school (the first time when I was studying public affairs and policy as opposed to the second time when I was studying library and information science - I know. Two degrees?? What was I thinking. But whatever..) I took a few public health classes that I really enjoyed. In one of the classes we spent some time talking about successful public health campaigns and especially, how to reach "under-served" populations. From the perspective of the USA, one under-served population as you might imagine, is those people who are non-English speakers. Having been on the other side of the Dr.'s desk, so to speak, I now understand why. I mean, I got it conceptually, while I was in school. And I thought that improving the "cultural competence" of medical staff sounded logical.
But now I see how vital cultural competence truly is; it's not just a buzzword or politically correct token effort. Because if I didn't have a husband willing to go with me to these appointments, I would just stop going to see the doctor here in Japan. The frustration I experience, the embarrassment, the confusion - none of it feels worth it during a pregnancy that I feel is routine. Naturally, I'm no doctor and could be wrong about my own condition or that of the baby, but I'm telling you, even with husband to take me, I don't want to go back. I don't feel any sense of understanding or compassion or accommodation from the staff of a fairly large and modern hospital system. Instead, I get what I can only assume is the routine treatment and I'm just supposed to go with it. Accept that this is "how things are done here" and that's it. I understand that the situation might be a little different if we'd chosen a hospital or clinic in a more urban area, but as I said, this one is pretty modern and I figured it wouldn't really matter since in the 2nd trimester you mostly get weighed, have an ultrasound and call it good. I didn't expect that they'd want to see me every 3 weeks, nor did I expect things to get as "invasive" as they've gotten.
But I've decided it's just not worth it to dwell on it. Instead, I'll take from this experience only the parts I want to remember and I'll just do my best to block out the rest. So..... Turns out they think I'm a little iron-deficient (just barely below the cut-off for "regular" standards here) and I'm taking this as a sign. A sign I tell you. I am MEANT to have the Big America "New York" burger at McDonald's. I missed the Texas burger, but I won't be missing the beef in the New York burger you can bet on that! And that California burger looks yummy too. This might also explain why I was overjoyed to sample the Sasebo burger the other day. You can't imagine anything like this if you think of American fast food joints. The bun was perfectly toasted, the lettuce was crispy, the sauce wasn't too skimpy or overly sloppy, the egg was fabulous...I could go on, but instead, I'm going to call it another day and get some rest. Yesterday was draining and the baby and I surely need some more rest.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Oceans Apart, (Day after Day)*
Living across the world from where I was just a few months ago I occasionally feel a sense of displacement. On the one hand I feel very grounded and rooted in my life here, but on the other, I can't shake the sense that something is missing. I was recently reminded that it's time for the rice harvest. This means that it's been almost a year since we left for Japan to help my father-in-law with the rice harvest. I can't believe it! We won't be there for the harvest this year, and as a result I have that sense of displacement, "How could I almost forget?!" Likewise, I keep thinking, "Is it almost time for the olives yet?" It's too early but I can't wait until we hear from my mother-in-law that they're ready to be picked.
In that vein of thinking about how we integrate our cross-cultural partners and lives, I've been reading some interesting articles in the paper lately and wonder if you've seen these stories? The first story is about a pair who has been living in the U.S. for several years and would like to stay in New Hampshire operating their authentic French bakery but the U.S. government assessed the bakery and its profits as marginal and therefore made the lady's application for an extension on her work/investor's visa ineligible . The people of the town essentially lobbied the State Department - writing letters etc. saying that this small business was more than "marginal" to their community. I found it touching and think I'd do the same. How wonderful would it be to have an authentic French bakery in your little community and why would you want to chase that away?
The second story is about a newly married couple right here in the Pacific Northwest, he's American and she's Canadian and they're currently unable to live together in one country.
What I find most frustrating about both stories is that there's such a tangle of legal....stuff. The boundaries that exist among nations are often arbitrary, although in some cases there are natural geographic constructs (like rivers, mountains, etc.) that act as dividers. It just seems like all of these problems could be easily avoided or resolved if we didn't have these rules. Naturally it's easy for me to say all this, and I'm clearly biased as all of this legal stuff occasionally makes things challenging for my husband and I and especially my daughter who, as things stand right now, will be forced to choose between her Japanese and American citizenship statuses once she is 22 years old.
Having said all of this, I should also emphasize that I'm in no hurry to give up my American citizenship. While that might simplify things in some ways (if my husband and daughter and I were all Japanese citizens) I just can't wrap my head around revoking a status that really feels like a part of my identity. In other words, it's not just that I'd choose not to be Japanese, I don't think I'd feel able to adopt the citizenship of any other nation either. Maybe there really is something to the notion of national identity and boundaries after all?
If you had to revoke your citizenship in order to become a citizen of another country would you (i.e. no dual citizenship allowed)? What if that was the only way for you to be with your partner/spouse?
*Yes I was a Richard Marx fan once upon a time. Don't mock.
In that vein of thinking about how we integrate our cross-cultural partners and lives, I've been reading some interesting articles in the paper lately and wonder if you've seen these stories? The first story is about a pair who has been living in the U.S. for several years and would like to stay in New Hampshire operating their authentic French bakery but the U.S. government assessed the bakery and its profits as marginal and therefore made the lady's application for an extension on her work/investor's visa ineligible . The people of the town essentially lobbied the State Department - writing letters etc. saying that this small business was more than "marginal" to their community. I found it touching and think I'd do the same. How wonderful would it be to have an authentic French bakery in your little community and why would you want to chase that away?
The second story is about a newly married couple right here in the Pacific Northwest, he's American and she's Canadian and they're currently unable to live together in one country.
What I find most frustrating about both stories is that there's such a tangle of legal....stuff. The boundaries that exist among nations are often arbitrary, although in some cases there are natural geographic constructs (like rivers, mountains, etc.) that act as dividers. It just seems like all of these problems could be easily avoided or resolved if we didn't have these rules. Naturally it's easy for me to say all this, and I'm clearly biased as all of this legal stuff occasionally makes things challenging for my husband and I and especially my daughter who, as things stand right now, will be forced to choose between her Japanese and American citizenship statuses once she is 22 years old.
Having said all of this, I should also emphasize that I'm in no hurry to give up my American citizenship. While that might simplify things in some ways (if my husband and daughter and I were all Japanese citizens) I just can't wrap my head around revoking a status that really feels like a part of my identity. In other words, it's not just that I'd choose not to be Japanese, I don't think I'd feel able to adopt the citizenship of any other nation either. Maybe there really is something to the notion of national identity and boundaries after all?
If you had to revoke your citizenship in order to become a citizen of another country would you (i.e. no dual citizenship allowed)? What if that was the only way for you to be with your partner/spouse?
*Yes I was a Richard Marx fan once upon a time. Don't mock.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Aki Matsuri
You are all wonderful and encouraging friends! I don't feel like such a dolt - unable to balance the needs of others in my family and feeling selfish for wanting to cram 36 hours into each single day hoping for more time with all of them!
Things have evened out a bit. Mom and Dad depart tomorrow. We've been all over in the last week or so. We spent several days in Leavenworth, WA enjoying the sunshine, sausages, and goats that live across from the hotel. Peanut *loves* goats and couldn't get enough of them! On our way home, we stopped near Wenatchee at a farm stand where we stocked up on tons of fresh peaches and apples and corn. There were lots of activities for little kids and since Peanut was the only kid around, she had the place to herself. We had an impromptu picnic and have been gobbling up the last days of beautiful summer weather along with her bounty!
Today we're hoping to head over to the local Aki Matsuri - a fall fair or festival celebrating performing arts, crafts and martial arts from Japan. There's even an enka performance at 4pm. Peanut *loves* enka!! She's like a 60 year old man trapped inside the body of a toddler. Additionally, I'd love for my parents to get to experience some of the Japanese cultural activities there as they've only been to Japan once and I don't expect that they'll visit again anytime soon.
As for me...while I've been terrible about practicing any Japanese or calligraphy since we've been back in the U.S., I find myself longing for bits and parts of our life there. Several of you suggested it might happen (the whole "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome that is) but I truly couldn't see it coming. Now I'm looking forward to a bit of Japan again. No sushi please. I like sushi but I had more than enough during our last stay there! But some tempura, a little enka, and a taiyaki would be more than welcome!
Things have evened out a bit. Mom and Dad depart tomorrow. We've been all over in the last week or so. We spent several days in Leavenworth, WA enjoying the sunshine, sausages, and goats that live across from the hotel. Peanut *loves* goats and couldn't get enough of them! On our way home, we stopped near Wenatchee at a farm stand where we stocked up on tons of fresh peaches and apples and corn. There were lots of activities for little kids and since Peanut was the only kid around, she had the place to herself. We had an impromptu picnic and have been gobbling up the last days of beautiful summer weather along with her bounty!
Today we're hoping to head over to the local Aki Matsuri - a fall fair or festival celebrating performing arts, crafts and martial arts from Japan. There's even an enka performance at 4pm. Peanut *loves* enka!! She's like a 60 year old man trapped inside the body of a toddler. Additionally, I'd love for my parents to get to experience some of the Japanese cultural activities there as they've only been to Japan once and I don't expect that they'll visit again anytime soon.
As for me...while I've been terrible about practicing any Japanese or calligraphy since we've been back in the U.S., I find myself longing for bits and parts of our life there. Several of you suggested it might happen (the whole "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome that is) but I truly couldn't see it coming. Now I'm looking forward to a bit of Japan again. No sushi please. I like sushi but I had more than enough during our last stay there! But some tempura, a little enka, and a taiyaki would be more than welcome!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Okaasan, okaasan, wherefore art thou?
At about the same time we returned to our house in Seattle, I noticed Peanut referring to me as (and occasionally addressing me as) "Okaasan." I find this interesting because I've never referred to myself as anything other than "Mama" and most of Gboy's relatives in Japan did the same. Gboy was probably the only person that she heard refer to me as Okaasan and that was maybe 50% of the time, the other 50% of the time he uses Mama when talking about me. And yet here we are with Peanut using Okaasan quite often when talking about me to Gboy or when she's by herself in her crib for example.
What I find most conflicting about this is that it was hard enough for me to adjust to being "Mama" in the first place. The whole idea of being someone's mother, especially since we had to wait for a while to have her in our lives making it almost unreal when she finally was, seemed foreign to me. Add to that the idea that I think of "Okaasan" as Gboy's mother since that's what the whole family calls her, and we have a strange mix. I don't think of myself as Okaasan at all. Peanut may as well be calling me Fred. I tried to explain this to my husband and he was really surprised to hear this. I reminded him that while the name "Okaasan" means something quite familiar and perhaps comfortable to him (having grown up with it all his life) it's unfamiliar to me. Furthermore, there's something frustrating about having someone else (or some other culture) dictate the terms of part of my relationship with my daughter which is sort of how this whole thing feels.
I'm able to see that there's something sweet about the fact that she's attached to me such that she'll call me both Mama and Okaasan to see which will get her the results she wants - i.e. me. I'm also able to see that this is just one of many of the interesting situations we're bound to run into in a bilingual/bicultural family. And for that I'm grateful; I'm grateful that Peanut has been exposed to both languages so much that she has a broad vocabulary of both English and Japanese already.
What I find most conflicting about this is that it was hard enough for me to adjust to being "Mama" in the first place. The whole idea of being someone's mother, especially since we had to wait for a while to have her in our lives making it almost unreal when she finally was, seemed foreign to me. Add to that the idea that I think of "Okaasan" as Gboy's mother since that's what the whole family calls her, and we have a strange mix. I don't think of myself as Okaasan at all. Peanut may as well be calling me Fred. I tried to explain this to my husband and he was really surprised to hear this. I reminded him that while the name "Okaasan" means something quite familiar and perhaps comfortable to him (having grown up with it all his life) it's unfamiliar to me. Furthermore, there's something frustrating about having someone else (or some other culture) dictate the terms of part of my relationship with my daughter which is sort of how this whole thing feels.
I'm able to see that there's something sweet about the fact that she's attached to me such that she'll call me both Mama and Okaasan to see which will get her the results she wants - i.e. me. I'm also able to see that this is just one of many of the interesting situations we're bound to run into in a bilingual/bicultural family. And for that I'm grateful; I'm grateful that Peanut has been exposed to both languages so much that she has a broad vocabulary of both English and Japanese already.
Monday, June 15, 2009
The countdown begins...
One more week until we're back in the U.S.A. As in, 7 days from now we'll be boarding a plane at this very minute. Wow. I've learned a lot while living here. I had hoped that I'd get a better feel for the culture and my husband's history and upbringing here. I had hoped that I'd be able to better understand why he couldn't just say to his family, "My family and my life is in the U.S. now and I'm not coming back to live in Japan," (especially since that was really our original plan - barring any serious illness of his parents of course in which case we'd help out and stay for a while). Having lived here now for 8 1/2 months, I think I can safely say that I have in fact gained those perspectives. I'm not saying that makes all of life easier, but I think I have a better sense of the issues and factors that my husband has tried in the past to describe to me - to no avail.
I'm not sure that Japan and I will ever be best friends. But I do feel that I have a new appreciation for life and the culture here. I've enjoyed getting to know my husband's family better. I've met some wonderful people here through AFWJ and my Japanese class. As my Japanese language skills have improved, I've even found it easier to communicate with people in the village here and that in turn has helped me to feel more at home. And I'm *really* sad that my daughter will have to say good-bye to her grandparents and all of her extended family here. It makes me get all teary-eyed just thinking about it. Gboy's family is, by and large, an amazingly wonderful group of sweet, sweet people and I will miss them. I know for sure that Peanut will miss them. My whole extended family had moved away from my hometown by the time I was about 8 years old. No grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - it was just my parents, my sister, and me. Whenever I got the chance to visit our extended family I was thrilled. I grew up watching "Eight is Enough" and "The Brady Bunch" and I knew that some chaos was inevitable in a family that big, but darn it! They looked like they were having an awful lot of fun too and now that I've witnessed Peanut with her cousins and family, I know they don't always agree, but they DO have a lot of fun. I hate to take that away from her even for a little while.
Our plan right now is to return to Japan in time to celebrate the 2010 New Year; this helps make the parting more bearable. And of course, there's the promise of real pizza, Vietnamese food, Mexican food, Ethiopian food, beans and grains of wide varieties, and baked goods made with butter, salt and vanilla (all ingredients that seem to be lacking in many baked goods here) and of course - coffee. I can't forget to mention the amazing Seattle weather coupled with lots of great parks within walking distance. And while Peanut may not have time with her Japanese family while we're back in the U.S., we've already got plans to ensure that she gets to spend lots of time with her American family and they're so excited to see her! These are all strong incentives for making the return home!
I'm not sure that Japan and I will ever be best friends. But I do feel that I have a new appreciation for life and the culture here. I've enjoyed getting to know my husband's family better. I've met some wonderful people here through AFWJ and my Japanese class. As my Japanese language skills have improved, I've even found it easier to communicate with people in the village here and that in turn has helped me to feel more at home. And I'm *really* sad that my daughter will have to say good-bye to her grandparents and all of her extended family here. It makes me get all teary-eyed just thinking about it. Gboy's family is, by and large, an amazingly wonderful group of sweet, sweet people and I will miss them. I know for sure that Peanut will miss them. My whole extended family had moved away from my hometown by the time I was about 8 years old. No grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - it was just my parents, my sister, and me. Whenever I got the chance to visit our extended family I was thrilled. I grew up watching "Eight is Enough" and "The Brady Bunch" and I knew that some chaos was inevitable in a family that big, but darn it! They looked like they were having an awful lot of fun too and now that I've witnessed Peanut with her cousins and family, I know they don't always agree, but they DO have a lot of fun. I hate to take that away from her even for a little while.
Our plan right now is to return to Japan in time to celebrate the 2010 New Year; this helps make the parting more bearable. And of course, there's the promise of real pizza, Vietnamese food, Mexican food, Ethiopian food, beans and grains of wide varieties, and baked goods made with butter, salt and vanilla (all ingredients that seem to be lacking in many baked goods here) and of course - coffee. I can't forget to mention the amazing Seattle weather coupled with lots of great parks within walking distance. And while Peanut may not have time with her Japanese family while we're back in the U.S., we've already got plans to ensure that she gets to spend lots of time with her American family and they're so excited to see her! These are all strong incentives for making the return home!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Two-faced living
Living in two places poses interesting challenges.
Thanks to many wonderful suggestions and thought-provoking comments from all of you, I've had some further insights.
Thanks to many wonderful suggestions and thought-provoking comments from all of you, I've had some further insights.
- It's okay to hoard chocolate. Sometimes, daily survival in another culture requires that we make sacrifices. In this case, I may be sacrificing some rules of etiquette but I won't be sacrificing my sanity. Yay!
- Giving indoor shoes for a toddler who doesn't understand the difference between "indoor" and "outdoor" shoes while seemingly ridiculous to me (why bother?) feels like a step in the right direction toward engendering tolerance from my in-laws. Not one person here has pointed the finger at me and called me a bad mom, but honor and reputation are very, very prized here and I really want to keep mine untarnished for as long as possible.
- No matter how many times I think I'm starting to get the hang of things and fit in, something new will come up. Yesterday I unthinkingly used my chopsticks to take a piece of food from my husband's chopsticks in order to give it to my daughter. He gave me a "look" and sternly warned me about how inappropriate that is in Japanese culture. Thankfully, his mother, the only witness, played ignorant. (She is a wonderful woman!) In my defense, my husband was reaching across me at the table to give food to my daughter and frankly, I get tired of having his arm in my face at mealtimes (for some reason he refuses to sit on the other side of my daughter so this happens all the time). Furthermore, I was raised to believe that reaching across the dinner table, in front of others, is rude. Can you say "culture clash"??
- It's sometimes hard to know what I can or should chalk up to differences in parenting style or personality versus larger cultural issues. Living with your in-laws, even within the same country and culture, is bound to result in some discomfort and the revelation that we don't always do things the same way. However, when you add in the "gaijin" (foreigner) factor, things get trickier for me. There are times I don't want people here to think that I'm representative of my culture and that "all Americans do x". On the one hand, I'd like to show that there are different ways of doing things since a lot of Japanese culture seems to be really homogeneous - "there's the Japanese way and it's the only way". But trying to show the "American" perspective is challenging since one of the things I most love about the U.S.A. is the diversity of people and ideas. The last thing I want to convey is that my way is THE American way. Needless to say, I think about this a lot and I find that it's complicated. Perhaps after living here for a while longer, I'll find a way to let it all go and just...be. In the meantime, I struggle to figure out how to choose my battles when I'm not even sure where the lines are being drawn.
Monday, May 25, 2009
What's a Mom to do?
I'm at something of a loss. I hear plenty about disciplining other people's children (i.e. when/if and how to do it) but not very much about the subject I have in mind. You see, I'm starting to worry that our more "lax" style of parenting (lax by certain Japanese standards) may be doing my reputation harm.
For instance, here in Japan, not wearing one's shoes inside the house is a very strict rule. Big no-no. The problem is that Peanut loves her shoes. I mean she *luuuuurrrvvves* her shoes. Once we're indoors, she would happily play with her shoes, taking them off and putting them on again for 30 minutes at a time. Occasionally that spills over into her wanting to then run around the house wearing them - in part to inspire a game of tag since she knows someone will likely chase her down in order to pry the shoes off her feet. Gboy and I have largely adopted a kind of hands-off approach here. She's not hurting herself or anyone else and as long as the shoes aren't wet or muddy, I don't worry too much about it. For the record, I would be fine with holding fast on this rule of no shoes, if for no other reason than to ensure peace and harmony in his parents' house, but Gboy is the oldest son and this will be his house one day and since he's said it's okay- he's pretty much laid down the law for everyone.
The problem is that when she sits in the entryway, playing with her shoes, other children often mimic her. This means that her cousins who have mostly learned that this a very unacceptable behavior, often join in and then get in trouble with their parents. My concern is that this isn't winning me any brownie points with the other family members (MIL & FIL and then of course the parents - specifically my two SILs).
I'm just not sure how to handle this. I'm sure as Peanut gets older we'll run into other similar problems. I'm not going to discipline her the way that they discipline their kids just because they think I should or "that's how parenting is done".
Ultimately the dilemma as I see it is what if my choice about how I parent conflicts with the parenting choices of other families around us? Am I obligated in some way to tell my child, "That's not okay to do here" in order to protect other kids from getting in trouble? And at what age do I start making those distinctions? With a 16 month old, I'm guessing there's not much reasoning going on - not enough for her to understand "here it's okay, there it's not" and to really comprehend that. At least not for a while longer, although with enough practice and repetition starting now, this might work. I just really want to be sure that I'm not damaging any relationships with family members here (I doubt it), or tarring my reputation (more likely I suppose).
For instance, here in Japan, not wearing one's shoes inside the house is a very strict rule. Big no-no. The problem is that Peanut loves her shoes. I mean she *luuuuurrrvvves* her shoes. Once we're indoors, she would happily play with her shoes, taking them off and putting them on again for 30 minutes at a time. Occasionally that spills over into her wanting to then run around the house wearing them - in part to inspire a game of tag since she knows someone will likely chase her down in order to pry the shoes off her feet. Gboy and I have largely adopted a kind of hands-off approach here. She's not hurting herself or anyone else and as long as the shoes aren't wet or muddy, I don't worry too much about it. For the record, I would be fine with holding fast on this rule of no shoes, if for no other reason than to ensure peace and harmony in his parents' house, but Gboy is the oldest son and this will be his house one day and since he's said it's okay- he's pretty much laid down the law for everyone.
The problem is that when she sits in the entryway, playing with her shoes, other children often mimic her. This means that her cousins who have mostly learned that this a very unacceptable behavior, often join in and then get in trouble with their parents. My concern is that this isn't winning me any brownie points with the other family members (MIL & FIL and then of course the parents - specifically my two SILs).
I'm just not sure how to handle this. I'm sure as Peanut gets older we'll run into other similar problems. I'm not going to discipline her the way that they discipline their kids just because they think I should or "that's how parenting is done".
Ultimately the dilemma as I see it is what if my choice about how I parent conflicts with the parenting choices of other families around us? Am I obligated in some way to tell my child, "That's not okay to do here" in order to protect other kids from getting in trouble? And at what age do I start making those distinctions? With a 16 month old, I'm guessing there's not much reasoning going on - not enough for her to understand "here it's okay, there it's not" and to really comprehend that. At least not for a while longer, although with enough practice and repetition starting now, this might work. I just really want to be sure that I'm not damaging any relationships with family members here (I doubt it), or tarring my reputation (more likely I suppose).
Friday, May 22, 2009
Choc-o-lot
Chocolate. I'm thinking about chocolate a lot these days. I want to understand why chocolate tastes so entirely different here in Japan. I get that the "choco- flavored" things may not even be directly related to chocolate as I know it. I suspect the sort of chocolate used to make those "choco-flavored" cookies is the same stuff they use for those M&M shaped chocolates that they sell in plastic shaped candy canes around Christmas in the U.S. It looks like chocolate but tastes....not very chocolatey at all.
According to this there's a whole scale of different varieties of chocolate in Japan based on what's in it.
But so far, I've had a hard time finding anything tasty. A few really nice pastry shops have had some good dark chocolate in their cakes or pastries, but that has been a rare experience for me.
And I'm sad because the luscious American brownies that I baked yesterday (thanks to my sister who mailed me the box mix!) are nearly gone (there's one left) and I only got to eat two of them. After I finished baking them my husband kindly thought of taking some to our neighbors. He did ask if it would be all right and I thought that since these neighbors happen to be relatives and they spend some time each week playing with my daughter and helping us out in that regard, I couldn't begrudge them some brownies. For those of you unfamiliar with life in Japan, it seems to involve a lot of sharing of food (I make too much of something and give half away to my neighbor who in turn does the same when she has too much of something....). When I say "a lot" I mean food goes in and out our door easily 3 or 4 times a week, maybe more.
"Okay, but what about the rest of the brownies?" you might ask. My MIL gave them away to my English conversation student today. She's a sweet woman and again, I wouldn't begrudge her one, but at least half of what was left? *sigh*
The really frustrating part in all of this is that it's not even food that anyone here (besides me) really enjoys. It seems to me that most people here prefer the choco-flavored stuff. That's fine with me. That's why I baked my own special brownies. I had contemplated freezing a bunch after baking them yesterday, but before I ever got around to it they were walking out the door - repeatedly.
Here's the etiquette question then: If you've got roommates do you hide any of your food from them? I suppose I could have hidden the brownies away (or in this case frozen them) for my own consumption at a later date since I know the audience here well enough to know that no one will appreciate them as much as I will. Considering that these brownies were especially hard to come by (i.e. overseas mail) would that make a difference in your answer? I don't want to be all sneaky hiding my food from people when the polite thing to do is to share, but if everyone else is going to give away my food (in some instances without even asking), what do I do?
According to this there's a whole scale of different varieties of chocolate in Japan based on what's in it.
But so far, I've had a hard time finding anything tasty. A few really nice pastry shops have had some good dark chocolate in their cakes or pastries, but that has been a rare experience for me.
And I'm sad because the luscious American brownies that I baked yesterday (thanks to my sister who mailed me the box mix!) are nearly gone (there's one left) and I only got to eat two of them. After I finished baking them my husband kindly thought of taking some to our neighbors. He did ask if it would be all right and I thought that since these neighbors happen to be relatives and they spend some time each week playing with my daughter and helping us out in that regard, I couldn't begrudge them some brownies. For those of you unfamiliar with life in Japan, it seems to involve a lot of sharing of food (I make too much of something and give half away to my neighbor who in turn does the same when she has too much of something....). When I say "a lot" I mean food goes in and out our door easily 3 or 4 times a week, maybe more.
"Okay, but what about the rest of the brownies?" you might ask. My MIL gave them away to my English conversation student today. She's a sweet woman and again, I wouldn't begrudge her one, but at least half of what was left? *sigh*
The really frustrating part in all of this is that it's not even food that anyone here (besides me) really enjoys. It seems to me that most people here prefer the choco-flavored stuff. That's fine with me. That's why I baked my own special brownies. I had contemplated freezing a bunch after baking them yesterday, but before I ever got around to it they were walking out the door - repeatedly.
Here's the etiquette question then: If you've got roommates do you hide any of your food from them? I suppose I could have hidden the brownies away (or in this case frozen them) for my own consumption at a later date since I know the audience here well enough to know that no one will appreciate them as much as I will. Considering that these brownies were especially hard to come by (i.e. overseas mail) would that make a difference in your answer? I don't want to be all sneaky hiding my food from people when the polite thing to do is to share, but if everyone else is going to give away my food (in some instances without even asking), what do I do?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A long weekend in the sunshine
The upside to having a toddler who can't nap with any regularity or for any great length of time, is that there's really no good reason to state at home for nap time. In the past, because Peanut seemed to operate at her best if she was able to sleep in her crib for her morning and afternoon naps, we'd generally try to have her at home during those time frames (she was never a good car or stroller napper and without those naps - meltdowns were inevitable). Now however, we see now reason not to hit the road with her in tow since the lack of daytime sleep doesn't really seem to predict meltdowns and well, she can *not* sleep at home just as easily as she can *not* sleep at a park.
Over the weekend we went to several nearby parks. First we went to Hamadera Koen. It's a big park with lots and lots of playground equipment. The slides and jungle gyms that I've seen here in Japan are the kinds of things that I remember from my childhood in the U.S. Remember all the cool stuff that was a legal liability and was removed from playgrounds? They've still got a bunch of that stuff here and it's cool! I'm talking about huge slides, monstrous climbing gyms, etc. Peanut is too small for much of it, but the sheer volume of fun stuff to play on drew lots of families to the park on Saturday (combined with temperatures in the mid 70's F) and the people and kids alone are entertainment for Peanut.
On Sunday we ventured out to ExpoLand to see the tulip garden. Japan has a long history of trade with Holland (even during the 200 or so years that Japan was closed to trade with other countries). Hence, the tulip garden is a celebration of that long and prosperous history of trade. The colors were vibrant and we enjoyed eating our lunch near thousands of tulips on a perfectly warm and sunny day.
Monday the weather promised to be warm and sunny once more. We decided to take advantage of it to head up the mountain in search of the last cherry blossoms in this area. In Yoshino, we found dozens of small vendors selling all kinds of foods and other goods but by far my favorite was the sakura (cherry blossom) soft serve ice cream - delicious! We had a short hike up the mountain side, but with vendors all around us, the time passed quickly. If you've never been to Japan, you need to understand that the Japanese have a gift for building temples, shrines, etc. at the top of mountain, paving a bit of road or walkway to get up there, and then populating the road with vendors so that tourists can shop all the way up and down the mountain. I've seen buildings perched on the side of mountain where you couldn't possibly imagine a bar or ice cream shop could exist, yet they do! Anyway, the view from the top of this little mountain was lovely. On the way back down, we stopped in a noodle shop with a view of the mountainside and blossoms. I'm not the biggest fan of udon soup (there are plenty of other things I'd rather eat) but the view alone made it worthwhile to eat in our restaurant of choice.
Peanut was an angel each and every time we got in the car (unusual for a kid who has pretty much screamed her head off in the car since she was born) and every day we went out she far exceeded her usual one hour of stroller time limit. There's really no way around it; the weather was perfect, the company was unsurpassed and we couldn't have had a more lovely, long weekend.
Over the weekend we went to several nearby parks. First we went to Hamadera Koen. It's a big park with lots and lots of playground equipment. The slides and jungle gyms that I've seen here in Japan are the kinds of things that I remember from my childhood in the U.S. Remember all the cool stuff that was a legal liability and was removed from playgrounds? They've still got a bunch of that stuff here and it's cool! I'm talking about huge slides, monstrous climbing gyms, etc. Peanut is too small for much of it, but the sheer volume of fun stuff to play on drew lots of families to the park on Saturday (combined with temperatures in the mid 70's F) and the people and kids alone are entertainment for Peanut.
On Sunday we ventured out to ExpoLand to see the tulip garden. Japan has a long history of trade with Holland (even during the 200 or so years that Japan was closed to trade with other countries). Hence, the tulip garden is a celebration of that long and prosperous history of trade. The colors were vibrant and we enjoyed eating our lunch near thousands of tulips on a perfectly warm and sunny day.
Monday the weather promised to be warm and sunny once more. We decided to take advantage of it to head up the mountain in search of the last cherry blossoms in this area. In Yoshino, we found dozens of small vendors selling all kinds of foods and other goods but by far my favorite was the sakura (cherry blossom) soft serve ice cream - delicious! We had a short hike up the mountain side, but with vendors all around us, the time passed quickly. If you've never been to Japan, you need to understand that the Japanese have a gift for building temples, shrines, etc. at the top of mountain, paving a bit of road or walkway to get up there, and then populating the road with vendors so that tourists can shop all the way up and down the mountain. I've seen buildings perched on the side of mountain where you couldn't possibly imagine a bar or ice cream shop could exist, yet they do! Anyway, the view from the top of this little mountain was lovely. On the way back down, we stopped in a noodle shop with a view of the mountainside and blossoms. I'm not the biggest fan of udon soup (there are plenty of other things I'd rather eat) but the view alone made it worthwhile to eat in our restaurant of choice.
Peanut was an angel each and every time we got in the car (unusual for a kid who has pretty much screamed her head off in the car since she was born) and every day we went out she far exceeded her usual one hour of stroller time limit. There's really no way around it; the weather was perfect, the company was unsurpassed and we couldn't have had a more lovely, long weekend.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Paying grandma for babysitting?
Lately I've been giving this article about paying grandparents for childcare some thought. When we first came to Japan last fall, I thought we'd be lucky because we'd be living near family members (i.e. with my MIL and FIL and next door to other relatives) and that we'd be getting some childcare. I think I was under the impression that since they basically asked us to come here to help out while my FIL was unable to do his regular farm work and because my MIL was really worried about maintaining the family household here in Japan, that we'd be getting support.
After all, we're the ones who had to uproot our family and move halfway across the world. This move came after they gave us their blessing at our marriage 3+ years ago to live in the US and care for my parents as they age. My husband, being the eldest son in the family was essentially freed by this and we thought it worked out nicely. We figured my brother-in-law (5 years younger than my husband) could care for my parents-in-law especially since BIL lives 15 minutes from here. My sister and her husband will likely have to help out his divorced parents one day, thereby doubling the responsibility they've got. My parents are perfectly able to live on their own right now, but it gave me some peace of mind to know that I could be there for them one day. (And we assumed we'd help out if my in-laws needed anything, we just didn't think we'd live here long-term.) Sounded great. Meanwhile, we were living in Seattle, "halfway" between Gboy's family in Japan and my family on the East Coast of the US. No family had a monopoly on us.
By the time we leave Japan this summer, Peanut will have lived half her life here and just about every day of her time in Japan will have been lived with her Japanese grandparents. My parents, who waited years for their first grandchild (Peanut) are surely disappointed that they don't get to be the grandparents she lives with. The fact that we're thousands of miles away and 17+ hours by plane makes travel quite hard for them. Since they'd be able to see us more if we still lived in Seattle, this has certainly cut into their grandchild time. Taking all of this into consideration, it's occurring to me that maybe I'm somewhat resentful of our time here. On the one hand, I love it, and think it's priceless for Peanut. On the other hand, I feel like my in-laws kind of owe us and should be thankful we've given them so much access to their granddaughter (their 3rd grandchild of 4) especially at my parents' expense (Peanut is their only grandchild thus far).
Yet childcare has been infrequent to say the least. My FIL is useless in that regard and my MIL has been too busy working part-time, visiting with friends, hiking, and otherwise pursuing her own hobbies. When childcare does happen, it's generally for approximately 2 hours and it looks more like something they need to do in addition to the weeding or housework, etc. My parents in the little time they get to spend with Peanut, play with her like crazy. Hug her, love her. It doesn't show up that way with my in-laws and while some of it may be cultural (i.e. aversion to showing too much affection) some of it is likely just this family. I get that. But it makes me sad and a little angry to feel like we've sacrificed so much and getting a couple of hours of baby-sitting is so hard to come by.
Do I think I should pay Peanut's grandparents for childcare? I can't see my parents ever accepting money for the pleasure of spending time with their granddaughter. Maybe it would be different if they had 12 grand kids, but they don't. Anyway, I see the point of offering my in-laws some kind of payment, but frankly feel like I'm owed more than that. I hate to sound spoiled and entitled, but I think the resentment is greater than I had realized and this is how it manifests itself.
I'm so curious to hear the thoughts of others about reimbursing grandparents for childcare (both from those of you with Japanese in-laws and those of you without Japanese in-laws).
After all, we're the ones who had to uproot our family and move halfway across the world. This move came after they gave us their blessing at our marriage 3+ years ago to live in the US and care for my parents as they age. My husband, being the eldest son in the family was essentially freed by this and we thought it worked out nicely. We figured my brother-in-law (5 years younger than my husband) could care for my parents-in-law especially since BIL lives 15 minutes from here. My sister and her husband will likely have to help out his divorced parents one day, thereby doubling the responsibility they've got. My parents are perfectly able to live on their own right now, but it gave me some peace of mind to know that I could be there for them one day. (And we assumed we'd help out if my in-laws needed anything, we just didn't think we'd live here long-term.) Sounded great. Meanwhile, we were living in Seattle, "halfway" between Gboy's family in Japan and my family on the East Coast of the US. No family had a monopoly on us.
By the time we leave Japan this summer, Peanut will have lived half her life here and just about every day of her time in Japan will have been lived with her Japanese grandparents. My parents, who waited years for their first grandchild (Peanut) are surely disappointed that they don't get to be the grandparents she lives with. The fact that we're thousands of miles away and 17+ hours by plane makes travel quite hard for them. Since they'd be able to see us more if we still lived in Seattle, this has certainly cut into their grandchild time. Taking all of this into consideration, it's occurring to me that maybe I'm somewhat resentful of our time here. On the one hand, I love it, and think it's priceless for Peanut. On the other hand, I feel like my in-laws kind of owe us and should be thankful we've given them so much access to their granddaughter (their 3rd grandchild of 4) especially at my parents' expense (Peanut is their only grandchild thus far).
Yet childcare has been infrequent to say the least. My FIL is useless in that regard and my MIL has been too busy working part-time, visiting with friends, hiking, and otherwise pursuing her own hobbies. When childcare does happen, it's generally for approximately 2 hours and it looks more like something they need to do in addition to the weeding or housework, etc. My parents in the little time they get to spend with Peanut, play with her like crazy. Hug her, love her. It doesn't show up that way with my in-laws and while some of it may be cultural (i.e. aversion to showing too much affection) some of it is likely just this family. I get that. But it makes me sad and a little angry to feel like we've sacrificed so much and getting a couple of hours of baby-sitting is so hard to come by.
Do I think I should pay Peanut's grandparents for childcare? I can't see my parents ever accepting money for the pleasure of spending time with their granddaughter. Maybe it would be different if they had 12 grand kids, but they don't. Anyway, I see the point of offering my in-laws some kind of payment, but frankly feel like I'm owed more than that. I hate to sound spoiled and entitled, but I think the resentment is greater than I had realized and this is how it manifests itself.
I'm so curious to hear the thoughts of others about reimbursing grandparents for childcare (both from those of you with Japanese in-laws and those of you without Japanese in-laws).
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Sumo locker room....
Or is it? Okay, it's not the sumo wrestlers' locker room. In fact, 3/4 of the room was the dohyo (or practice ring) and the spectator area and the other 1/4 of the room was the kitchen. I kid you not, the only thing separating the two for a while was a flimsy curtain.
How did I end up there? Good question! Some friends of my husband's family own a sushi restaurant and they're big sumo fans and some of the sumo guys are regular customers when they're here in Osaka. The Osaka tournament will start soon meaning the guys are here already practicing. Our friends managed to get us into a semi-private practice session; there were maybe 75 spectators there including a few members of the press, friends/family etc. After the practice, we got to sit down and enjoy a little chanko-nabe in the same place the sumo wrestlers would be eating (after actually hitting the "locker room"). I saw some of the food they'd be eating and it was impressive. I've never seen that much kimchee all in one place, never mind all the other katsu, rice, noodles, and donuts too (by the dozen!).
Over the last several months I've become something of a sumo fan. When the tournaments are on tv, I love to watch and I'm sad if I miss a day. I confess I still don't know all that much about it, but the basic rules are fairly straightforward making it easy to watch and enjoy.
Oh and to give you some idea of how big this guy is, I'm about 5' 8" tall and weigh about 120 pounds - this guy weighs nearly 3 times as much!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Breakin' it Down - Podcast Style
I recently mentioned that I've been listening to the Splendid Table's podcasts and one of my commentors (thefukases) suggested that I post about other podcasts I like. This is a tough one. I don't have an iPod, so I generally rely on the Zune Marketplace and online service to point me in the direction of available podcasts for what happens to be my portable listening device. This might be somewhat limiting, but it's easy and that's been the key thus far.
Bearing in mind that this might be limiting, I'm happy to share what I've discovered.
I adore National Public Radio and listen to whatever I can find. Specifically, I'm listening to things like "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me!" Tavis Smiley, Fresh Air and Marketplace. But I also like to connect with my local news and events so I listen to "Weekday" from KUOW in Seattle. I am subscribed to the News from Lake Wobegone, but rarely listen to it since I'd rather hear the show in its entirety and therefore just listen to Prairie Home Companion on my laptop (drat no podcast!!).
Being a lover of food I also catch the Epicurious (video!!) and Cooks Illustrated podcasts on my Zune. Watching someone demonstrate how to fill a cannoli really helped me to believe that I can tackle the cannoli making on my own. I have the cannoli tubes and know how to make my own ricotta so I'm thinking I'll even be able to attempt these while here in Japan! I haven't figured out how to get the Bon Appetit podcasts on to my Zune, but I can listen to them on my laptop. Yum.
Parent Magazine has some interesting podcasts and Comedy Central Stand-Up.
In return for sharing this, I'd love to hear what podcasts you all may be listening to on your computer or portable listening device. There's a lot out there I know, but sometimes finding good material is tricky...
Bearing in mind that this might be limiting, I'm happy to share what I've discovered.
I adore National Public Radio and listen to whatever I can find. Specifically, I'm listening to things like "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me!" Tavis Smiley, Fresh Air and Marketplace. But I also like to connect with my local news and events so I listen to "Weekday" from KUOW in Seattle. I am subscribed to the News from Lake Wobegone, but rarely listen to it since I'd rather hear the show in its entirety and therefore just listen to Prairie Home Companion on my laptop (drat no podcast!!).
Being a lover of food I also catch the Epicurious (video!!) and Cooks Illustrated podcasts on my Zune. Watching someone demonstrate how to fill a cannoli really helped me to believe that I can tackle the cannoli making on my own. I have the cannoli tubes and know how to make my own ricotta so I'm thinking I'll even be able to attempt these while here in Japan! I haven't figured out how to get the Bon Appetit podcasts on to my Zune, but I can listen to them on my laptop. Yum.
Parent Magazine has some interesting podcasts and Comedy Central Stand-Up.
In return for sharing this, I'd love to hear what podcasts you all may be listening to on your computer or portable listening device. There's a lot out there I know, but sometimes finding good material is tricky...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Danjiri!
Have you ever heard of a danjiri? Me either! At least, I hadn't heard of one until a couple of years ago. This video gives you an idea of what it looks like - a big wooden cart of sorts - being pulled along by dozens, maybe even hundreds of people. Kishiwada, a small city not far from here has a big Danjiri Festival each fall. I've never been to the festival in person, but I hear the streets are packed with on-lookers. Sometimes if the danjiri are being pulled too quickly as they rush around a corner the danjiri doesn't quite clear the corner resulting in property damage and occasionally injury. Gboy and I like to think of it like a kind of "running with the bulls". Only without any animals.
Anyway, this past weekend we visited the Danjiri Museum. It's a small museum, but their interactive components made the trip totally worthwhile. Not only did I get to "play" some of the instruments that are on the bottom half of the danjiri, I got to experience what it might be like to stand atop the danjiri (at about half the actual height and minus any movement)! I can safely say that I'd be too chicken to try it for real, but that's the beauty of a museum with interactive elements, I can pretend I have the guts to do something wild and still keep all my teeth (knowing me I'd fall off the thing and lose a tooth!).
Can you tell I was having fun?!
Anyway, this past weekend we visited the Danjiri Museum. It's a small museum, but their interactive components made the trip totally worthwhile. Not only did I get to "play" some of the instruments that are on the bottom half of the danjiri, I got to experience what it might be like to stand atop the danjiri (at about half the actual height and minus any movement)! I can safely say that I'd be too chicken to try it for real, but that's the beauty of a museum with interactive elements, I can pretend I have the guts to do something wild and still keep all my teeth (knowing me I'd fall off the thing and lose a tooth!).
Can you tell I was having fun?!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Idea File: Bilingual/Bicultural Family Network
I can't remember if I've plugged this website before, but I'll do it again just in case. The Multilingual Living Magazine is published by the Bilingual/Bicultural Family Network website. And don't worry, if you're raising your kids in a multilingual/multicultural family they're got plenty for you too. This month's issue of the magazine is about trilingual families and they even touch on how to move to four languages. Cool stuff!
Specifically, one of the sites I learned about in the latest issue of the magazine is Lingo. It's geared toward Australians and since I know some of you lovely readers are Australian, I figured I'd pass this along. Not only do they have postings about upcoming events, many of which are naturally in Australia, they also have postings about resources and research regarding bilingual or multilingual families. Tuck this away in your idea file!
Specifically, one of the sites I learned about in the latest issue of the magazine is Lingo. It's geared toward Australians and since I know some of you lovely readers are Australian, I figured I'd pass this along. Not only do they have postings about upcoming events, many of which are naturally in Australia, they also have postings about resources and research regarding bilingual or multilingual families. Tuck this away in your idea file!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Show and tell
Mel is hosting Show and Tell again this weekend. I've never had anything I wanted to show, but I've enjoyed seeing what others post about and finally, finally it's my turn! I've got something!
I've mentioned before that I'm taking a weekly calligraphy class. My instructor is a wonderful, calm and patient man who is retired and is doing this strictly for the fun of it. He's a friend of the family and I'm incredibly grateful to him. He teaches me entirely in Japanese. This cannot be an easy thing for him since my Japanese is, well, a work in progress. As such, I'm sure it's difficult for him to convey some ideas to me, although the "watch what I do" technique has worked quite well for us thus far. And it surely helps that I'm getting one-on-one instruction.
That's the telling, now on to the showing. My work is on the left and my instructor's work is on the right. I still need quite a bit of practice but this is my best work from my class the other day:
Updated to add: I've been asked about what the words mean. Good question! It's actually part of a larger phrase. Thus, on it's own, this segment doesn't really mean anything. However, it's my understanding that starting from the top right and reading counter-clockwise the characters individually read as: world, taste, usual and gate. As is the case with reading these characters in Japanese, sometimes you combine two words and get a third (often related) new word. Oddly enough, in my Japanese class I find it easier to read than write the Kanji I study, while in calligraphy class I find it easier to write than to read. I'm all a-jumble!
I've mentioned before that I'm taking a weekly calligraphy class. My instructor is a wonderful, calm and patient man who is retired and is doing this strictly for the fun of it. He's a friend of the family and I'm incredibly grateful to him. He teaches me entirely in Japanese. This cannot be an easy thing for him since my Japanese is, well, a work in progress. As such, I'm sure it's difficult for him to convey some ideas to me, although the "watch what I do" technique has worked quite well for us thus far. And it surely helps that I'm getting one-on-one instruction.
That's the telling, now on to the showing. My work is on the left and my instructor's work is on the right. I still need quite a bit of practice but this is my best work from my class the other day:
Updated to add: I've been asked about what the words mean. Good question! It's actually part of a larger phrase. Thus, on it's own, this segment doesn't really mean anything. However, it's my understanding that starting from the top right and reading counter-clockwise the characters individually read as: world, taste, usual and gate. As is the case with reading these characters in Japanese, sometimes you combine two words and get a third (often related) new word. Oddly enough, in my Japanese class I find it easier to read than write the Kanji I study, while in calligraphy class I find it easier to write than to read. I'm all a-jumble!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The postman always rings AT LEAST twice
I had an idea. I was going to blog about....something. That idea is now nothing but a faint memory. Once the doorbell rang (for the THIRD time today) I completely lost my train of thought. And here's the thing: the doorbell is always ringing. I mean, on average I'd say the doorbell rings at least once a day, but maybe more and today is certainly not atypical. I'm not sure that in the U.S. I ever heard the doorbell ring so much in my entire life. In the U.S. delivery people often leave packages on your doorstep and go. I'm not sure how the Japanese culture continues to function if everything is dependent on someone answering the door at home and often in the middle of the day. And what amazes me is that it's not just the post office and other private parcel delivery services, but it's the water distributor with this month's box of bottled water, or the egg man with 3 dozen eggs or the fish guy... I'm amazed at the steady stream of deliveries and the frequency with which I see delivery trucks in our little neighborhood.
Anyway, you'll have to trust me when I say that my original idea for a post was clever/funny/interesting and surely thought-provoking. But I have no idea what it was about.
Anyway, you'll have to trust me when I say that my original idea for a post was clever/funny/interesting and surely thought-provoking. But I have no idea what it was about.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Johnny Mathis Lives On
Yesterday as I stood outside a small department store in Matsubara while waiting for my bus, I heard a Johnny Mathis Christmas song piped over loudspeakers. At first I was stunned. To begin with, he was singing one of the religious Christmas carols, I already forget which one it was, but honestly hearing any religious Christmas music strikes me as funny here in Japan where Christians appear to be easily outnumbered by those practicing Buddhism or Shintoism. Then I became almost hysterical as I heard Rosemary Clooney singing another Christmas tune. It was as though someone had unearthed an album of "classic American Christmas melodies" and started playing it because, "Hey, it's Christmas!" Now I'm no expert but I suspect that the appropriation of other cultures and especially the "fun" aspects of other cultures is fairly widespread. Take for example all the folks in the U.S. who think it's "cool" to get a Japanese or Chinese symbol tattooed on their body with little idea of what it might really mean or how to read it or pronounce it. Still, these instances make me shake my head and wonder just how it all came to be.
And personally, hearing that classic American stand-by took me back to my childhood days, made me smile and had me humming all the way home.
And personally, hearing that classic American stand-by took me back to my childhood days, made me smile and had me humming all the way home.
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