Friday, December 19, 2008

Timing is everything

Here's the thing. When we first told friends that we were relocating to Japan for a while, bunches of people said, "Great! We've been thinking about a vacation and we've always wanted to go to Japan and wouldn't it be cool to hang out with you there?! We'll come visit you!" And then one by one, the babies started showing up. Two couples got pregnant and one couple is on the waiting list for an adoption and suddenly a trip to Japan is off the table. Don't get me wrong, I'm TOTALLY happy for them and I'm just a wee bit sad that we won't be having visitors.

What really gets me down is that it reminds me of when we were trying to start a family. If you don't know the history already (and I guess you wouldn't) it's here. To make a long story short, it took us a while to get Peanut and we're not even sure it will happen again much as we'd like two peanuts in our home. Peanut's first birthday will be in the end of January and although I always envisioned having a couple of kids spaced a couple of years apart, all this recent talk of babies has me sweating it a little. I'm afraid that if we don't hop on the bandwagon (or at least try to) sooner rather than later that it might not happen at all.

I figured the anxiety and doubt would come back after the pregnancy glow and then the subsequent newborn phases wore off. Sure enough. Could I be happy with just Peanut? Definitely. She is a miracle and I adore her, but in some ways that's just more motivation for us to find her a sibling. Peanut LOVES other babies and people in general. She's incredibly social and active and I think she'd do really well with a sibling. *sigh*

Infertility sucks.


  1. It took me two-and-a-half years to get pregnant with my little girl, so I know where you are with that.

    As for having more children, that's always a tough one. Your baby is still so small. There's no rush!

    I actually want a second less and less over time.

    My husband's siblings have all been busy with procreation and will never come see us now. Kind of sucks.

  2. Infertility DOES suck, you got that right.

    While I was pregnant, I had this dream that at 7 months along I got pregnant with baby #2. So I carried them both for two months, delivered the first baby, and then stayed pregnant with the second baby alone for 7 more months.

    At my 38 week appt, I asked my OB when I could start trying for another baby. She suggested I wait until Bean #1 was born.

    As much as I love my son, I can't help but wonder if/when there will be another joy in our family.

  3. It is difficult for me to comprehend infertility because we have not started trying for a baby and I have no reason to believe we will have trouble. That said, it is always in the back of my mind because I would love a family and to not have one would be a huge dissapointment for me (and Shun)- I do know that age can sometimes play a role and while I am in my early 20`s, my partner is a couple years older.

    I hope you get your wish of having peanut #2! I am sorry to hear you had so many issues before and I hope that next time it all comes together for you!

    As for having friends visit- well, I am pretty sure that since you have a one year old that having visitors would actually end up been pretty stressful for you! That said, I hope that you have some friends visit you in the new year.

    Also, in case I don`t comment before Christmas- Have a great Christmas! Your first with peanut!