Sunday, August 2, 2009

Bridges from one heart to another

The other day, my sister J who had her baby just over one week ago, told me that she was feeling really sad. My sister's friend S was due to have her baby just a few days after J had her baby. Unfortunately, S developed cramps the day before her scheduled C-section (baby was transverse and there were some other minor concerns that the doctors had) and when the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and performed an emergency C-section, their little boy was stillborn. A mutual friend had contacted my sister to give her this update and J was still feeling very emotional. She was uncertain about how to proceed - worried that contacting S directly might make her feel worse given the reminder of J's new baby.

I encouraged her to think about making a call and offering some support, thereby allowing S to make the choice for herself. I also suggested that my sister check out Share for more information. Additionally I contacted Cara at Building Heavenly Bridges (I'd visited her blog a number of times and I really admire the work that she does) and gave her some of this background and she sent me a sweet email encouraging both J and S to feel free to contact her.

While I think it IS sad that we connect with others in these circumstances - there are so many wonderful people out there to meet and get to know better - I wish it didn't have to happen this way. But I confess I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity to make a wonderful connection like this and to know that we can began to make these heart connections. I hope that each of these connections brings a little bit of healing to all of us.


  1. My heart is going out to J and her family. How terribly sad. Good for you for talking to S and to Cara. It's horrible when these things happen, but so wonderful that we can help them in a small way. Good for you, hon!

  2. Wow, you are so calm and thoughtful in a terrible situation. I was in a very similar situation recently and couldn't face calling my friend so I have been sending her random postcards with unrelated newsy stuff and then finishing with thinking of you or I'm here or something like that. Might just check out those sites for some better ideas.

  3. My heart is breaking for J. I can only imagine how devastating that would be. It is so kind of you to make this connection for them.

    And speaking of kindness, I just read your email. It seriously brought tears to my eyes, your thoughtfulness in helping me survive this torturous TWW! Let me check the calendar and get back to you.

  4. That is just devastating. My heart is breaking for S and for all her friends and family.

  5. Oh. Oh my. So very sad. is another resource for infant loss / neonatal loss.

    I cannot thank you enough for your comment on my recent post. You summed up exactly how I feel. Add to that the hormone fluctuations with dropping so many feedings at tonce (2-6 depending on the night) and you can imagine how I am feeling these days.

    Sounds from some of your posts like we have similar daughters. He he he! You are back in Seattle? Missy and I are headed up for a girls weekend Aug 22-23.

    Thanks again for your kind words.