Monday, June 20, 2011

High Anxiety!*

Mel had a great idea for a post (for more on this see Prompt-ly!)- consider the thing you are most anxious about and then consider the thing you are most sure of right in this moment. I think this question is especially timely for me as I transition back to the USA from Japan. Not only do I find myself wondering about our decision to travel back and forth witLinkh such frequency, but I find myself wondering about how I could possibly have a career again (something I'd like to try to do) while bouncing back and forth.

The one thing that I am most sure of in the midst of all this, is that returning to Seattle right now is the best, most *right* thing we could possibly do. This is really a personal opinion although I do suspect that it's a very beneficial thing for the girls as well. (In fact my oldest told me that while she's sad to be leaving her friends in Japan, she was really looking forward to seeing her Seattle friends. And since our return she has told us several times that she's happy.) I just can't imagine staying in Japan full-time. I know that my husband would be happy if I'd consider this as a possibility, but he isn't pushing for it by any means. Still, he is pushing for a continuance of the 6 months here and 6 months there lifestyle. As I looked around our house at all the things that need to be moved around to make way for us again (we stored a bunch of things while renters were here), it nearly overwhelmed me yesterday. "I have to move that stuff again?" We've moved some of this stuff around 6 times in the last 3 years (once before going and once upon our return for the last 3 trips). It's starting to feel like we're on a hamster wheel and just can't off. But I know for sure that being here right now will fulfill my soul. It will recharge me in a way that living in Japan just can't. I get to reconnect with friends who speak English. I get to bake in my own kitchen. I get to sleep in my own bed. It's heavenly and we've only been here for a few days.

*I keep hearing the lyrics for this song in my head. Mel Brooks, Cloris Leachman, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman - this was good stuff!

1 comment:

  1. I so feel for you with all the moving!!
    Thank you so much for leaving a comment on my blog - I followed you back here and I LOVE your blog! I've started reading through all your archives. My grandfather was Japanese, emigrated to Peru at age 11 and married a Peruvian woman when they were both very young. My mom was the 4th of their 8 kids, and my dad an expat from the US (upstate NY no less!). Thanks for sharing so much about your cross-cultural family and life. And I love learning more about Japan too since that's part of my heritage that I'm not very connected to - never been there, and only speak a handful of words (the ones everybody knows). :-) Hope you are still enjoying Seattle so much!