Friends of Gold

A very dear friend of mine was just here for a 10 day visit. I am incredibly lucky. I am fortunate to have a friend whom I have known since childhood (any by childhood I mean birth since our parents lived on the same block). 36 years is a long friendship - more than many people ever have the pleasure of experiencing.

Some things I discovered while she was here:

• We truly do have the kind of friendship that allows us to pick up as though no time has passed despite the fact that in the past 18 years we have rarely spent more than 2 hours together at any one time and often we were only able to manage that every couple of years.
• She and I have very similar values despite the fact that our lifestyles are vastly different.
• I learned about how to make maple syrup. (She helps tap trees for the sap and has actually boiled it all down into the tasty syrup final product. How cool is that?)
• Having a friend who isn't a mom is incredibly refreshing. I love having mom friends. I *need* to have mom friends with whom I can share a lot of the challenges and joys of parenting, but I also need someone outside of all that. I need someone else in my life who has the free time to pursue other interests. Someone who can tell me all about the intricacies of jump roping as a sport for example!
• It was fascinating to do some reminiscing . It's pretty amazing how much of what I remember doesn't entirely correspond to what she remembers about our time in high school. It's also a little scary when I think of all the things that I've already forgotten. She remembers her project for our government class. I remember a few projects from that class but haven't the slightest idea what it is that I worked on; I have the sense that it was incredibly boring. How sad!
• I loved reconnecting with her on a totally new level and in a different context too. We both love to read and while we have some different interests, we do have overlapping interests as well. But our reading tastes vary enough that we find we can recommend interesting and new books to one another. Awesome! Also, she spent some time in Central America a few years ago. She primarily lived in Costa Rica but she traveled quite a bit to neighboring countries while she was trying to learn Spanish. It was fascinating to finally have the time to talk to her about her experience there. Especially in light of my time living in Japan now. Of all my friends from high school, she is the one best able to understand what it's like for me to live overseas and in another culture.

I truly loved having her visit and was unbelievably sad when she left. She had made it very clear that she was here to reconnect with me and to spend time with my family, not because she had any particular desire to visit Japan. I'm very lucky that she went out of her way to visit me. And I'm trying to appreciate her visit for the uniqueness of having her here, but I can't separate the fact that I'm generally lonely too. Her stay here just reinforced for me how important it is that I find more ways to connect with other women here - whether they are yochien moms or expatriate friends of mine.