Friday, March 5, 2010

Riding the Hormone Roller Coaster

I woke the other morning from a dream in which I was crying and I found myself actually, physically crying. And then I was sobbing. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed by a number of questions and doubts about our life here in Japan, about our attempt to live a bicoastal/bicultural life, about our second baby - you know the "little" things!

I was amazed at how powerful the emotions were and at the same time I realized that the extent to which I was crying sort of outweighed the feelings I was having. Good old pregnancy hormone roller coaster strikes again!

I confess I'm really, really looking forward to our return to the U.S. as I'm feeling a strong desire to be in my own home and comfort space as I finish this pregnancy. I'm tired of living in someone else's space and eating someone else's food and feeling like it's just too hard to carve out space (literal and figurative) of my own. And I'm feeling a very strong desire to nest, in a way that I truly didn't feel during my first pregnancy.

So in case you were wondering, that's where I'm at emotionally these days. On the edge...but holding on. Just 24 more days.

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