Watching Peanut play in the dirt at the farm today, I was reminded of how much she enjoys playing in sandboxes, dirt piles and the like. The main difference is that here on the farm, she's able to use real potatoes when she plays at gardening. We don't really have a lot of space, or the time frankly, to garden at our home in Seattle. This makes being here in Osaka and extra special treat. The girls get exposed to an entirely different way of life.
I confess, when I'm here, I miss the easy access to coffee shops and parks and playgroups that we enjoy at our home in Seattle. But we absolutely have the advantage of being closer to some aspects of "nature". The ironic part is that where we're located here in Osaka used to be truly rural, but at this time, development continues to encroach more and more as industrial businesses move into the neighborhood without, as far as I can tell, any real "urban planning" or design. As a result, the kids in the neighborhood now play in empty parking lots where fields used to be. I think it's a sad thing.
When we were here last spring, some of Gboy's friends' kids came over one afternoon to pick some carrots and daikon. They were incredibly excited to see where the vegetables came from and to actively participate in gathering their own food for dinner. This is just one more reason why I hate to say, "Let's just sell off the land and the farm and live in the U.S. 100% if the time as we had planned once upon a time." It seems more and more vital to keep this slice of life intact, not just for our family, but for the community at large. I'm not sure what the future will bring or if I'll ever really be able to adapt to living this more rural lifestyle even part-time, but for now I keep wishing that we'll be able to find a way to make it work.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I Surrender
I've given up on trying to install the child-proof latches on our cupboards here in the house. Since we've moved back in to our house (after being away for nearly 5 months) we've discovered a whole new need to child-proof things now that Peanut can open doors and climb up drawer handles and really nothing seems to be out of reach anymore. I've been relying rubber bands and heavy hand-weights strategically placed in front of cupboard doors, along with the heavy utilization of the one or two really high and out of reach places that we still have in order to keep her from poisoning herself or setting herself on fire. You know. Things like that. Today I was going to tackle a few of the cupboards while she was out of the house with her father. And then after wrestling with the tools needed to do the installation, and trying to work around a very pregnant belly, I finally gave up in a fit of tears. Yes I'm at that point in the pregnancy where I'm very hormonal and the sheer fact I couldn't install a child-proof lock brought me to tears.
One of the reasons that it's so frustrating is that I've always prided myself on being handy enough to manage some basic fixes around the house. I can't fix a leaky toilet, for instance, but I can do some minor repairs and installation of small products that come with instructions and require only the use of a hammer and/or a screwdriver. I'm just that independent! But pregnancy changes things. And one of the things that I'm lamenting is the fact that during my first pregnancy, everyone was all, "Don't climb up on the chair! Don't lift that! Let me help!" And this time around it feels like the Mom-syndrome has set in. "You're a super-mom now, it's your job to do all of these things simultaneously and without any assistance." Ultimately it makes me think that this is really and truly my last pregnancy. Gboy and I may decide at some point that we'd like to add another child to our family, but I don't feel like another pregnancy is the route we'll be taking. I'm done with the nausea, the exhaustion, the hormones, the limitations on my own body. It's a miracle of life and all that, and I'm grateful that we got pregnant not once but twice, and some part of me appreciates the beauty of it all, but pregnancy is not fun or easy as far as I'm concerned.
Anyway, instead of dealing with childproofing, I decided to clean the windows. It's spring cleaning time and I think the urge to get things done before the baby arrives has really motivated me. Enough that I fought off the desire to nap or otherwise rest despite the fact that some R&R sounds really good right about now. But I just don't feel like I have the luxury of sitting around and resting. Too much needs to get done. And Gboy is working his butt off to get a project completed before the new baby arrives; this is the downside of self-employment. He's here but he's not *here* - not available much of the time because he's, you know, trying to make a living.
I'm thinking that as long as I continue to be vigilant, we'll be okay without store-purchased child protection locks. I have learned to be creative with my home grown child proofing solutions! And in just a little more than 3 weeks my parents will be arriving to help out with Peanut before the new baby is due to arrive. I figure my Dad, Mr. Handyman, might actually like a project to work on here around the house. Nothing too onerous. Just a little child-proofing!
One of the reasons that it's so frustrating is that I've always prided myself on being handy enough to manage some basic fixes around the house. I can't fix a leaky toilet, for instance, but I can do some minor repairs and installation of small products that come with instructions and require only the use of a hammer and/or a screwdriver. I'm just that independent! But pregnancy changes things. And one of the things that I'm lamenting is the fact that during my first pregnancy, everyone was all, "Don't climb up on the chair! Don't lift that! Let me help!" And this time around it feels like the Mom-syndrome has set in. "You're a super-mom now, it's your job to do all of these things simultaneously and without any assistance." Ultimately it makes me think that this is really and truly my last pregnancy. Gboy and I may decide at some point that we'd like to add another child to our family, but I don't feel like another pregnancy is the route we'll be taking. I'm done with the nausea, the exhaustion, the hormones, the limitations on my own body. It's a miracle of life and all that, and I'm grateful that we got pregnant not once but twice, and some part of me appreciates the beauty of it all, but pregnancy is not fun or easy as far as I'm concerned.
Anyway, instead of dealing with childproofing, I decided to clean the windows. It's spring cleaning time and I think the urge to get things done before the baby arrives has really motivated me. Enough that I fought off the desire to nap or otherwise rest despite the fact that some R&R sounds really good right about now. But I just don't feel like I have the luxury of sitting around and resting. Too much needs to get done. And Gboy is working his butt off to get a project completed before the new baby arrives; this is the downside of self-employment. He's here but he's not *here* - not available much of the time because he's, you know, trying to make a living.
I'm thinking that as long as I continue to be vigilant, we'll be okay without store-purchased child protection locks. I have learned to be creative with my home grown child proofing solutions! And in just a little more than 3 weeks my parents will be arriving to help out with Peanut before the new baby is due to arrive. I figure my Dad, Mr. Handyman, might actually like a project to work on here around the house. Nothing too onerous. Just a little child-proofing!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Too Much Togetherness?
Is it possible? I think most of us would say, "Yes, at some point there IS such a thing as too much togetherness." Today we spent all day honoring and remembering Gboy's grandmother who passed away two years ago. There's a Buddhist tradition of doing a kind of memorial service and this was her 2nd annual. Last year it felt very fitting and appropriate. This year is mostly felt exhausting and like a chore that had to be done. Fewer of the extended relatives showed up. And the whole thing seemed sort of... obligatory.
Despite the fact that this day was about his own mother, my father-in-law spent the day (even while his whole family and guests were here) in his bedroom with the door shut watching horse racing. I know this because periodically he would emerge, betting sheet in hand, to use the computer to place another online bet. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law and her husband have been walking around like zombies because they arrived here very late last night and while they would have liked to nap, they couldn't because my father-in-law was in the room they'll be sleeping in for the next couple of days. My mother-in-law spent the day running around like a chicken with her head cut off, refusing all offers of help and trying to do everything herself.
By late this afternoon, Peanut, wound-up from all the excitement of having 7 or 8 of her cousins here to play with her all day, finally melted down from lack of food (too busy to be convinced to eat) and sheer exhaustion. As my husband took her out to the car in an attempt to drive her around in the quiet and comfort of a moving vehicle (a nice safe bet for lulling her to sleep) my father-in-law kept barking, "Why are you crying?! Why are you crying?!" as they walked by. I'm not sure what on earth his purpose was. He doesn't play with or really interact much with my daughter in general. So these barking interrogations tend only to scare her and generally she tells him to "go away" if he talks to her. He certainly didn't plan to offer any assistance or help in calming her down, and in all likelihood he just escalated her anxiety.
*sigh* I'm sure I'm sensitive about all of this because I too am tired (my mother and father-in-law were up for hours last night walking around the house repeatedly slamming doors in anticipation of their daughter's arrival). As a result, Gboy and I didn't manage to get any decent sleep until well after 1am and we're tired too.
It's like so many holidays in the U.S. I guess. Everyone is so excited to get together but it takes so much work and then once you're all crammed together in one small space, suddenly things aren't as ideal as you dreamed they'd be!!
Despite the fact that this day was about his own mother, my father-in-law spent the day (even while his whole family and guests were here) in his bedroom with the door shut watching horse racing. I know this because periodically he would emerge, betting sheet in hand, to use the computer to place another online bet. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law and her husband have been walking around like zombies because they arrived here very late last night and while they would have liked to nap, they couldn't because my father-in-law was in the room they'll be sleeping in for the next couple of days. My mother-in-law spent the day running around like a chicken with her head cut off, refusing all offers of help and trying to do everything herself.
By late this afternoon, Peanut, wound-up from all the excitement of having 7 or 8 of her cousins here to play with her all day, finally melted down from lack of food (too busy to be convinced to eat) and sheer exhaustion. As my husband took her out to the car in an attempt to drive her around in the quiet and comfort of a moving vehicle (a nice safe bet for lulling her to sleep) my father-in-law kept barking, "Why are you crying?! Why are you crying?!" as they walked by. I'm not sure what on earth his purpose was. He doesn't play with or really interact much with my daughter in general. So these barking interrogations tend only to scare her and generally she tells him to "go away" if he talks to her. He certainly didn't plan to offer any assistance or help in calming her down, and in all likelihood he just escalated her anxiety.
*sigh* I'm sure I'm sensitive about all of this because I too am tired (my mother and father-in-law were up for hours last night walking around the house repeatedly slamming doors in anticipation of their daughter's arrival). As a result, Gboy and I didn't manage to get any decent sleep until well after 1am and we're tired too.
It's like so many holidays in the U.S. I guess. Everyone is so excited to get together but it takes so much work and then once you're all crammed together in one small space, suddenly things aren't as ideal as you dreamed they'd be!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Mistakes were made...
I was asked by my sister who I love dearly to address the distance that she feels is between us - ever since I visited her this fall. I tried to be truthful with myself and with her and I tried to be sure to use lots of "I" messages to convey MY side of things. I recognize that a lot of what I'm feeling may just be in my head. But I don't think she took it very well. And I'm sad that no matter how thoughtful I tried to be, it seems not to have worked.
I'm also sad because I feel like although she asked me what was going on, maybe she really didn't want to hear the truth and I should have known that. Isn't that sort of like the "Does this make me look fat?" question? The truth isn't always what is actually what we want to hear. Sometimes we just want and need to hear that everything is okay and I think I could have done that and addressed the issues at a later date when she is feeling more together. I suspect she's still really got her hands full with an almost 6 month old and adjusting to new parenthood etc.
But I just didn't think I was being hurtful. I thought I was trying to clear the air and help show my side of things and why our relationship might feel different to her and my behavior might seem different. *sigh* I'm not sure how I could have handled things differently but I do feel bad that she's so hurt. Naturally I didn't mean to hurt her. I just figured since she was asking for honesty that some thoughtful, carefully worded "it's me and not you" honesty might be helpful in clarifying the situation. But I was wrong again. This is not new for me or for us. You'd think after 33 years as sisters I would have figured this out.
*sigh*
How's your relationship with your sibling(s)? Am I the only one in this boat? Any suggestions on how to back things up and start over? Right now she's hurt and unable to address this conversation further, but before we ever talk about it again, I'd love to know what I should do to grovel some more and fix things, while still maintaining the right to express myself and my feelings (they're not totally invalid right?).
I'm also sad because I feel like although she asked me what was going on, maybe she really didn't want to hear the truth and I should have known that. Isn't that sort of like the "Does this make me look fat?" question? The truth isn't always what is actually what we want to hear. Sometimes we just want and need to hear that everything is okay and I think I could have done that and addressed the issues at a later date when she is feeling more together. I suspect she's still really got her hands full with an almost 6 month old and adjusting to new parenthood etc.
But I just didn't think I was being hurtful. I thought I was trying to clear the air and help show my side of things and why our relationship might feel different to her and my behavior might seem different. *sigh* I'm not sure how I could have handled things differently but I do feel bad that she's so hurt. Naturally I didn't mean to hurt her. I just figured since she was asking for honesty that some thoughtful, carefully worded "it's me and not you" honesty might be helpful in clarifying the situation. But I was wrong again. This is not new for me or for us. You'd think after 33 years as sisters I would have figured this out.
*sigh*
How's your relationship with your sibling(s)? Am I the only one in this boat? Any suggestions on how to back things up and start over? Right now she's hurt and unable to address this conversation further, but before we ever talk about it again, I'd love to know what I should do to grovel some more and fix things, while still maintaining the right to express myself and my feelings (they're not totally invalid right?).
Monday, November 30, 2009
Baking marathon begins!
Oh dear friends in the internet...I am looking for new (to me) and exciting recipes for Christmas cookies. That's right, at the moment I'm feeling like eating! And baking too. This year, I've got at my disposal not just an oven. But I have my mother's kitchen which looks a lot like Mrs. Claus' house. She has more cookie sheets, decorations, and baking paraphernalia than I've ever had in my own little kitchen. As such, I'm feeling like doing some serious baking. Perhaps not fair to my mother, recently diagnosed as diabetic, but I can't help it! Luckily, her willpower these days is great and she can sample a cookie or two without adversely affecting her blood sugar levels, mostly because she's so good at managing her diet and exercising regularly. Go mom!
My mother is actually the one who instilled in me the love of baking Christmas cookies until your freezer can't hold anymore. When I was a child, she was the choir director and organist at our church and every year at the holidays she would have the choir members over to our house for a rehearsal and plates full of cookies! She also hosted a holiday open house every year which also prominently featured trays of home-baked cookies. And I think that she's looking forward to doing some
So here's my request:
Do you have any favorite cookie recipes? I'm especially interested in those that are festive and holiday-like but they don't necessarily need to be such.
Even more specific (but certainly not a requirement to a good recipe) do you happen to have any favorite diabetic-friendly holiday treats? Since my mom is new to the diabetic diet, I'd sure like to help her out with a few good recipes.
Please share!!
My mother is actually the one who instilled in me the love of baking Christmas cookies until your freezer can't hold anymore. When I was a child, she was the choir director and organist at our church and every year at the holidays she would have the choir members over to our house for a rehearsal and plates full of cookies! She also hosted a holiday open house every year which also prominently featured trays of home-baked cookies. And I think that she's looking forward to doing some
So here's my request:
Do you have any favorite cookie recipes? I'm especially interested in those that are festive and holiday-like but they don't necessarily need to be such.
Even more specific (but certainly not a requirement to a good recipe) do you happen to have any favorite diabetic-friendly holiday treats? Since my mom is new to the diabetic diet, I'd sure like to help her out with a few good recipes.
Please share!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Back in the Saddle
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here at home (Seattle) after our trip to Raleigh, while simultaneously preparing to go on the road again. In another couple of weeks we're off to the East Coast to visit my parents for the holidays and from there it's on to Japan again. I can't begin to describe how happy I am to be spending Thanksgiving AND Christmas with my folks. I will be very thankful this year!
In the meantime we're in the midst of chaos once again. But I'm sure you can imagine what that's like. Rather than cover all that now, I thought I'd mention how weird and surreal it was to be looking in on the lives of my sister and brother-in-law and their new baby. Baby G was just about 2.5 months old when we visited and your average happy-go-lucky baby. What I had forgotten or blocked out I suppose, was how steep the learning curve can be as a new parent. I can't remember the last time I saw such stressed out parents. And then it occurred to me that maybe I had and just couldn't remember it! I have no idea how we looked to outsiders. Most of our friends have kids close in age to Peanut, so when I saw them with newborns, we were all frazzled and sleep-deprived and learning as fast as we could.
I wished on multiple occasions that I could have taken the baby from my sister and offered to make it better. But new parents have to learn in their own time and their own way.
I wished on multiple occasions that I could make them more comfortable with having us (and our toddler) stay in the house with them. Especially so that they wouldn't have to be so worried about all damage she might do to herself since that is just as much my job as Peanut's parent as it is their job as host/ess. But again, they're not used to being around toddlers and need more time and exposure to be comfortable with the everyday antics of a toddler.
I worried that I wasn't parenting as well as I should or could. Their level of concern about my child's behavior was much more intense than my own level of concern and I don't know if it's because I'm too "hands-off" and therefore negligent in some way (or maybe I'm just a bad guest?). Or maybe it's truly just a difference in parenting styles (or to be fair maybe they were just far too overwhelmed to be hosting us and dealing with a newborn and the whole situation just created more anxiety for them).
All in all, my head was sort of spinning after our trip. I kept trying to look back at my own experience nearly 1 1/2 years ago to see what I would have looked like to an outsider. But of course that's never really possible. I just keep thinking that there's a valuable lesson to be learned from our trip but I'm unable to see it yet.
In the meantime we're in the midst of chaos once again. But I'm sure you can imagine what that's like. Rather than cover all that now, I thought I'd mention how weird and surreal it was to be looking in on the lives of my sister and brother-in-law and their new baby. Baby G was just about 2.5 months old when we visited and your average happy-go-lucky baby. What I had forgotten or blocked out I suppose, was how steep the learning curve can be as a new parent. I can't remember the last time I saw such stressed out parents. And then it occurred to me that maybe I had and just couldn't remember it! I have no idea how we looked to outsiders. Most of our friends have kids close in age to Peanut, so when I saw them with newborns, we were all frazzled and sleep-deprived and learning as fast as we could.
I wished on multiple occasions that I could have taken the baby from my sister and offered to make it better. But new parents have to learn in their own time and their own way.
I wished on multiple occasions that I could make them more comfortable with having us (and our toddler) stay in the house with them. Especially so that they wouldn't have to be so worried about all damage she might do to herself since that is just as much my job as Peanut's parent as it is their job as host/ess. But again, they're not used to being around toddlers and need more time and exposure to be comfortable with the everyday antics of a toddler.
I worried that I wasn't parenting as well as I should or could. Their level of concern about my child's behavior was much more intense than my own level of concern and I don't know if it's because I'm too "hands-off" and therefore negligent in some way (or maybe I'm just a bad guest?). Or maybe it's truly just a difference in parenting styles (or to be fair maybe they were just far too overwhelmed to be hosting us and dealing with a newborn and the whole situation just created more anxiety for them).
All in all, my head was sort of spinning after our trip. I kept trying to look back at my own experience nearly 1 1/2 years ago to see what I would have looked like to an outsider. But of course that's never really possible. I just keep thinking that there's a valuable lesson to be learned from our trip but I'm unable to see it yet.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Cold in NC
That's right- it's cold in North Carolina! We're enjoying some quality time with my sister and her husband and the new baby, but it's hard to find time to post updates since one or the other of our kids always seems to be awake and finding the time to post then feels nearly impossible. I now understand the joys of having one child with set naptimes! The jet lag has been surprisingly difficult to deal with (I figured the 3 hour difference would be negligible compared to the 16 from Japan!) in part because we are currently sharing a room with Peanut which we don't generally do at home and she's very sensitive to hearing us move around - which leads to more night wakings I'm sure.
The trip has been trippy since I feel like perhaps I'm getting a glimpse of what I looked like with a newborn. My sister is definitely frazzled which I find humorous since her son sleeps really well (i.e. 5 hour stretches at night and he's just about 3 months old!) and he's a very good-natured boy. Peanut was always good-natured but not a "good" sleeper per se. For us, 3 hours at a time was generally our standard of good! As a result, I find it hard to believe that my sister is fretting over a 2 hour crying fit when her son wasn't quite ready to go to sleep one night. I don't remember how often, if ever, that happened when Peanut was 3 months old, but I know it took us longer than their usual 5-10 minutes to get our baby to sleep. Wow. How dreamy that sounds.
Ultimately what this trip has done has give me a new perspective about my relationship with my sister. But that's more for another day.
The trip has been trippy since I feel like perhaps I'm getting a glimpse of what I looked like with a newborn. My sister is definitely frazzled which I find humorous since her son sleeps really well (i.e. 5 hour stretches at night and he's just about 3 months old!) and he's a very good-natured boy. Peanut was always good-natured but not a "good" sleeper per se. For us, 3 hours at a time was generally our standard of good! As a result, I find it hard to believe that my sister is fretting over a 2 hour crying fit when her son wasn't quite ready to go to sleep one night. I don't remember how often, if ever, that happened when Peanut was 3 months old, but I know it took us longer than their usual 5-10 minutes to get our baby to sleep. Wow. How dreamy that sounds.
Ultimately what this trip has done has give me a new perspective about my relationship with my sister. But that's more for another day.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Aki Matsuri
You are all wonderful and encouraging friends! I don't feel like such a dolt - unable to balance the needs of others in my family and feeling selfish for wanting to cram 36 hours into each single day hoping for more time with all of them!
Things have evened out a bit. Mom and Dad depart tomorrow. We've been all over in the last week or so. We spent several days in Leavenworth, WA enjoying the sunshine, sausages, and goats that live across from the hotel. Peanut *loves* goats and couldn't get enough of them! On our way home, we stopped near Wenatchee at a farm stand where we stocked up on tons of fresh peaches and apples and corn. There were lots of activities for little kids and since Peanut was the only kid around, she had the place to herself. We had an impromptu picnic and have been gobbling up the last days of beautiful summer weather along with her bounty!
Today we're hoping to head over to the local Aki Matsuri - a fall fair or festival celebrating performing arts, crafts and martial arts from Japan. There's even an enka performance at 4pm. Peanut *loves* enka!! She's like a 60 year old man trapped inside the body of a toddler. Additionally, I'd love for my parents to get to experience some of the Japanese cultural activities there as they've only been to Japan once and I don't expect that they'll visit again anytime soon.
As for me...while I've been terrible about practicing any Japanese or calligraphy since we've been back in the U.S., I find myself longing for bits and parts of our life there. Several of you suggested it might happen (the whole "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome that is) but I truly couldn't see it coming. Now I'm looking forward to a bit of Japan again. No sushi please. I like sushi but I had more than enough during our last stay there! But some tempura, a little enka, and a taiyaki would be more than welcome!
Things have evened out a bit. Mom and Dad depart tomorrow. We've been all over in the last week or so. We spent several days in Leavenworth, WA enjoying the sunshine, sausages, and goats that live across from the hotel. Peanut *loves* goats and couldn't get enough of them! On our way home, we stopped near Wenatchee at a farm stand where we stocked up on tons of fresh peaches and apples and corn. There were lots of activities for little kids and since Peanut was the only kid around, she had the place to herself. We had an impromptu picnic and have been gobbling up the last days of beautiful summer weather along with her bounty!
Today we're hoping to head over to the local Aki Matsuri - a fall fair or festival celebrating performing arts, crafts and martial arts from Japan. There's even an enka performance at 4pm. Peanut *loves* enka!! She's like a 60 year old man trapped inside the body of a toddler. Additionally, I'd love for my parents to get to experience some of the Japanese cultural activities there as they've only been to Japan once and I don't expect that they'll visit again anytime soon.
As for me...while I've been terrible about practicing any Japanese or calligraphy since we've been back in the U.S., I find myself longing for bits and parts of our life there. Several of you suggested it might happen (the whole "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome that is) but I truly couldn't see it coming. Now I'm looking forward to a bit of Japan again. No sushi please. I like sushi but I had more than enough during our last stay there! But some tempura, a little enka, and a taiyaki would be more than welcome!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I should be scrubbing toilets....
but I'm not.* My parents arrive tomorrow night. They'll be staying with us for just over two weeks. I'm thrilled beyond words! I can't wait to see them. Once upon a time, I would have vigorously scrubbed everything in the house from top to bottom. But today, I can't quite muster the interest. Perhaps it's because I don't think they'll notice anything other than Peanut. They're definitely coming to see me (we have a really great relationship) but their first grandchild? The granddaughter they haven't seen in almost 11 months (well with the exception of the amazing powers of video calls and s.kype)?
Yeah, I don't think I need to worry too much about a little dust!
Oh, and I'm having FAR too much fun playing Blogger Bingo!!!
*Although I will be cleaning the toilets later. I'm just procrastinating at the moment. In fact, the toilets aren't the problem. It's those tile showers. How the heck do you clean them (a) without getting soaked in the process (b) with a sponge? I've just never figured it out and it bugs the heck out of me.
Yeah, I don't think I need to worry too much about a little dust!
Oh, and I'm having FAR too much fun playing Blogger Bingo!!!
*Although I will be cleaning the toilets later. I'm just procrastinating at the moment. In fact, the toilets aren't the problem. It's those tile showers. How the heck do you clean them (a) without getting soaked in the process (b) with a sponge? I've just never figured it out and it bugs the heck out of me.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Coming out of the fog....
I'll be back with a more thoughtful post in the next few days. For now, I'm wondering, should I tell you about:
The view and weather two days after our return.
- The fat lip Peanut got when she was running around the airport in Itami and fell down
- Our fleeting but lovely meeting with Kim and her daughter in the Narita airport (Why oh why did we have to have such a short layover this time around when we usually get stuck there for 8 hours!)
- "New in Town" - the movie I watched on the plane and loved if for no reason other than that it was in English and joked about cold winters and lots of snow - struck me as incredibly funny
- Salami, lamb, feta cheese and the lovely foods I've been rediscovering here in the U.S.
- Connecting with old friends in Seattle
- Missing new Osaka friends
- Visits to half a dozen parks to see which might be Peanut's favorites
- Recovering from jet lag in what feels like record time
- Having to clean the house much more than I anticipated (wishful thinking had me convinced our bachelor friend would have hired a housekeeper before he left)
- Talking to my family on the telephone and reveling in our proximity
- Today's visit to the zoo - who knew goats would inspire my daughter to cry when separated from them?
- How much I hate packing and unpacking and moving in general (okay we didn't exactly move but it sort of feels like it)
- American television - I don't even care what I watch - I'm loving it!!
- My library is amazing and I have about 25 books checked out that I'm trying to read as fast as I can - just finished this escapist bit
- My cake baking project for the summer - I've got The Cake Bible and plan to use it!
- Amazing blue skies and perfect temperatures with no humidity
The view and weather two days after our return.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
FRFOJ: Future Rice Farmers of Japan
The future of rice farms in Japan is apparently on rocky ground right now. Almost 70% of rice farmers in Japan are over the age of 60; this includes my father-in-law. While he no longer grows the rice to sell to others, in the days following World War II when my husband's grandfather was still alive, the family did in fact produce rice for the purpose of selling it -not to make a profit per se, but because it enabled the family to make a living and it fed a lot of hungry people back then.
Nowadays, my FIL grows plenty of rice to feed our immediate family as well as numerous extended family members and family friends. I don't think my husband foresees a time when we'd want to make this farm production quality again. However, part of the reason that we're here in Japan and trying to figure out how to keep things running in the future is that sustaining the family farm is important not just for nostalgic reasons, but because there are people that depend on the rice this farm produces each year.
It will take some time before my husband is able to maintain the farm on his own (he's a perfect example of the younger generation that doesn't really know how to farm anymore) and he'd still like to keep it functioning as a more "recreational" farm (as his father does now) than a serious profession. Additionally, we've talked about making changes to what is grown. I've seen some of my FIL's seed catalogs (this is one of my favorite times of year - seed catalogs are here!) and it reminds me of my own household when I was a child; my father was a big gardener himself and was always trying new vegetables. The difference is that with a milder climate here in Japan, we can grow many more varieties of vegetables and fruits and the growing season is basically year-round (as opposed to the climate in the northeast of the US where I grew up and the growing season was really only May-September).
Personally, I'd love to try growing peanuts! And purple potatoes. And more leafy greens. And tons more sweet potatoes. And more herbs... But everything takes time and the transition from our old life to this new one on the farm is still tenuous. However the promise of beautiful fruits and vegetables and the lure of those seed catalogs is hard to resist!
Nowadays, my FIL grows plenty of rice to feed our immediate family as well as numerous extended family members and family friends. I don't think my husband foresees a time when we'd want to make this farm production quality again. However, part of the reason that we're here in Japan and trying to figure out how to keep things running in the future is that sustaining the family farm is important not just for nostalgic reasons, but because there are people that depend on the rice this farm produces each year.
It will take some time before my husband is able to maintain the farm on his own (he's a perfect example of the younger generation that doesn't really know how to farm anymore) and he'd still like to keep it functioning as a more "recreational" farm (as his father does now) than a serious profession. Additionally, we've talked about making changes to what is grown. I've seen some of my FIL's seed catalogs (this is one of my favorite times of year - seed catalogs are here!) and it reminds me of my own household when I was a child; my father was a big gardener himself and was always trying new vegetables. The difference is that with a milder climate here in Japan, we can grow many more varieties of vegetables and fruits and the growing season is basically year-round (as opposed to the climate in the northeast of the US where I grew up and the growing season was really only May-September).
Personally, I'd love to try growing peanuts! And purple potatoes. And more leafy greens. And tons more sweet potatoes. And more herbs... But everything takes time and the transition from our old life to this new one on the farm is still tenuous. However the promise of beautiful fruits and vegetables and the lure of those seed catalogs is hard to resist!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Finding the Perfect Gift
Have I mentioned that my sister (one and only and she's younger) is expecting her first baby in July? And have I mentioned how freaking excited I am?! My sister-in-law is also due this year - in October. Conflicted feelings about that for lots of reasons. But my sister is due this summer and she's the subject of today's post. I'm trying to think of a really great baby shower gift. Something that is really about pampering her and making her feel special. I have plenty of ideas of gifts for the baby. But what about the new mom? Any great ideas for special gifts?
I don't live anywhere near my sister (which makes me sad) and can't shower her with love and food and help around the house when the baby is born. Luckily she'll have help from our mom for a bit after the baby is born, but I likely won't visit until the baby is at least a month old. I'm thinking at that point they'll be out of any frozen foods that friends and other family may have stocked them up with, so I'll start all over again to get them stocked. Seriously, I remember thinking when Peanut was 2 or 3 months old, "Where did everyone go? We still have a newborn around here and wouldn't mind some extra help!"
Along these lines, I'm looking for great recipes that you love - things that freeze really well. Casseroles and soups come to mind and I already have a few ideas, but I thought I'd take my sister and brother-in-law a pretty extensive list for them to choose from so that they could pick a bunch of different things that they think they'd like to have in the freezer. Again, ideas welcome.
I don't live anywhere near my sister (which makes me sad) and can't shower her with love and food and help around the house when the baby is born. Luckily she'll have help from our mom for a bit after the baby is born, but I likely won't visit until the baby is at least a month old. I'm thinking at that point they'll be out of any frozen foods that friends and other family may have stocked them up with, so I'll start all over again to get them stocked. Seriously, I remember thinking when Peanut was 2 or 3 months old, "Where did everyone go? We still have a newborn around here and wouldn't mind some extra help!"
Along these lines, I'm looking for great recipes that you love - things that freeze really well. Casseroles and soups come to mind and I already have a few ideas, but I thought I'd take my sister and brother-in-law a pretty extensive list for them to choose from so that they could pick a bunch of different things that they think they'd like to have in the freezer. Again, ideas welcome.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
And so it begins again....
If you've ever spent a year or more trying to start a family, you surely know where I'm going with this already. My sister-in-law who is coincidentally (10 years younger than I am) thought she might be pregnant last weekend. This is the same sister-in-law who suddenly found herself pregnant 24 months ago at the tender age of 23, not even graduated from college yet, not married yet, and therefore having to rush the wedding because the whole concept of having children outside of "wedlock" is still fairly stigmatized here in Japan (or at least that's my husband's assessment of things in this part of Japan). Whatever. She's a sweet girl. She and her husband make wonderful parents, don't get me wrong. And frankly, 23 years old isn't that young in the grand scheme of things. But when they first announced their "oops" pregnancy Gboy and I had been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for the previous 8 months. This is not the kind of news that a woman facing the possibility of infertility really wants to hear - that someone barely having their shit together, and without even trying can get pregnant by mistake.
And now, just as I'm starting to think about what it would mean to try to get pregnant again, just as I'm starting to accept that we might have another long haul in front of us once again (have I mentioned that I don't even have a reason to believe that I'm capable of getting pregnant just yet?), she thinks she's pregnant. Basically she had to get a weaker dose of prescription medicine for her cough last week because she thought she might be pregnant. This suggests to me some active trying for a second pregnancy since her period wasn't even late yet and she was worried about taking strong medicine while possibly pregnant. The period arrived pretty much on time it seems, therefore no baby this time around.
But I'm already bracing myself for the news of what is now her impeding pregnancy. I'm sure she'll be pregnant before this summer which means we'll still be here in Japan and will likely see her face to face. Does this make me a pessimist? I can't even believe I'm having to deal with all the dark feelings this stirs up. I don't want to, but it seems inevitable at this point.
I had hoped that having my daughter would be enough to make me happy and not feel the stings of infertility as sharply. And yet, I feel once again like it's a race to the finish and the universe is one more working against us. Could the fact that my 35th birthday is in April and I'll cross the line over to "advanced maternal age" have anything to do with it? Surely. I need an attitude adjustment. And maybe some cupcakes.
And now, just as I'm starting to think about what it would mean to try to get pregnant again, just as I'm starting to accept that we might have another long haul in front of us once again (have I mentioned that I don't even have a reason to believe that I'm capable of getting pregnant just yet?), she thinks she's pregnant. Basically she had to get a weaker dose of prescription medicine for her cough last week because she thought she might be pregnant. This suggests to me some active trying for a second pregnancy since her period wasn't even late yet and she was worried about taking strong medicine while possibly pregnant. The period arrived pretty much on time it seems, therefore no baby this time around.
But I'm already bracing myself for the news of what is now her impeding pregnancy. I'm sure she'll be pregnant before this summer which means we'll still be here in Japan and will likely see her face to face. Does this make me a pessimist? I can't even believe I'm having to deal with all the dark feelings this stirs up. I don't want to, but it seems inevitable at this point.
I had hoped that having my daughter would be enough to make me happy and not feel the stings of infertility as sharply. And yet, I feel once again like it's a race to the finish and the universe is one more working against us. Could the fact that my 35th birthday is in April and I'll cross the line over to "advanced maternal age" have anything to do with it? Surely. I need an attitude adjustment. And maybe some cupcakes.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Back from beyond...
Back from a weekend at Hamanaka. I couldn't even tell you where we were for sure. I truly need to learn my geography here! What I do know is that the resort was lovely and amazing. The weather was very windy, but otherwise quite lovely (especially for enjoying the scenery and onsen!) while we were there. The whole family trekked over there after New Year's Day. My BIL and his wife and kids, along with my FIL and MIL all caravanned with us from Osaka while my SIL, her husband and son headed there from Tokyo. Our group included four kids under the age of 2 1/2 years old. On the one hand, they entertained each other at times which was great. On the other, this made for a lot of childcare work for all adults involved!
Peanut enjoyed her first plunge in the "big bath" quite a lot. I'm a pretty modest and shy person in general, especially when I'm in the U.S. But after being introduced to the Japanese onsen, I've discovered that I have no real qualms about sharing a public bath with a bunch of women. There's something quite convivial about the experience, and frankly it makes washing a small child much easier when you've got a lot of experienced mothers helping out! I'm still afraid of making some social faux pas (using the wrong soap for instance, or not rinsing at the proper time etc.). However, as a relatively new mom (when does that title wear off?) I feel that the relaxation from enjoying a nice spa day like that is well worth any potential embarrassment!
Here is Peanut enjoying some of the scenery:
Back to regular life and the start of 2009!
Peanut enjoyed her first plunge in the "big bath" quite a lot. I'm a pretty modest and shy person in general, especially when I'm in the U.S. But after being introduced to the Japanese onsen, I've discovered that I have no real qualms about sharing a public bath with a bunch of women. There's something quite convivial about the experience, and frankly it makes washing a small child much easier when you've got a lot of experienced mothers helping out! I'm still afraid of making some social faux pas (using the wrong soap for instance, or not rinsing at the proper time etc.). However, as a relatively new mom (when does that title wear off?) I feel that the relaxation from enjoying a nice spa day like that is well worth any potential embarrassment!
Here is Peanut enjoying some of the scenery:
Back to regular life and the start of 2009!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I *heart* your music
You know things have changed when "date night" means the two of you are sitting around in your pajamas making "mix tapes" (okay playlists) of your favorite songs: His Heavy Metal Music, Her Happy Going to Class Music, Songs to Put Peanut to Sleep, Songs to Calm Peanut's Hysterical Crying in the Car (she hates riding in the car most days). This is exactly what our evening last night looked like and honestly, it was silly but a lot of fun.
We reminisced about our shared memories of songs, compared notes about our different experiences with the same song from the times in our lives before we knew each other, and even shared stories about songs that have personal meaning to one or the other of us. Along the way we uncovered songs and albums we both had forgotten we owned. We didn't go out, (no babysitter) and we didn't spend a lot of money (yippee for saving!) but we had a really special time together and before I knew it, 2 1/2 hours had gone by and it was WAY past my bedtime.
We reminisced about our shared memories of songs, compared notes about our different experiences with the same song from the times in our lives before we knew each other, and even shared stories about songs that have personal meaning to one or the other of us. Along the way we uncovered songs and albums we both had forgotten we owned. We didn't go out, (no babysitter) and we didn't spend a lot of money (yippee for saving!) but we had a really special time together and before I knew it, 2 1/2 hours had gone by and it was WAY past my bedtime.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Multi-generation living
Not only are we adapting to living in a new city (okay, new to me and to my daughter), but we're adjusting to living with an extended family. The family isn't all that big when you consider it's just Gboy's mother and father with whom we're living. But we've moved into their house and I'm now having to learn how to live with the equivalent of roommates, in what is essentially someone else's turf. Never mind the in-law issues that are present.
Thankfully I don't think we have many "issues" but there is no discounting the fact that I feel a little judged (or maybe scrutinized is a better word) when I'm around them. I think I'd feel this way even if they were American (i.e. we weren't from different cultures) but the language and culture differences certainly don't make it any easier. I find myself often wanting to say, "I'm only doing this because...." or "In the U.S. this is how lots of people do this...." or "Drinking 3 beers is totally fine for me even though I'm still breast-feeding some." But my Japanese isn't that good yet (and it just seems easier to not have ANY beer than to try to explain why the half a beer I might really have isn't a problem given the circumstances *sigh*). And the weird thing is that I think my in-laws really do like me and they've never said anything that leads me to believe they question my skills as a mother, but I'm still learning to live with the differences here, and on top of that I'm learning to live with roommates again. It's sort of like living in a fishbowl and it's been a while since I've had roommates in such a tight-ish space. Lucky for me, we (Gboy, me and Peanut) all get a little space of our own on the second floor, removed enough from my in-laws that I feel we all get some of our own space.
Update: After reading this post from an awesome blogger that I follow, I am reminded of all the wonderful things that come from having lots of family under one roof. And for that, I'm immensely grateful. I firmly believe in silver linings and Mel has shown me, perhaps unintentionally, the silver lining here.
Thankfully I don't think we have many "issues" but there is no discounting the fact that I feel a little judged (or maybe scrutinized is a better word) when I'm around them. I think I'd feel this way even if they were American (i.e. we weren't from different cultures) but the language and culture differences certainly don't make it any easier. I find myself often wanting to say, "I'm only doing this because...." or "In the U.S. this is how lots of people do this...." or "Drinking 3 beers is totally fine for me even though I'm still breast-feeding some." But my Japanese isn't that good yet (and it just seems easier to not have ANY beer than to try to explain why the half a beer I might really have isn't a problem given the circumstances *sigh*). And the weird thing is that I think my in-laws really do like me and they've never said anything that leads me to believe they question my skills as a mother, but I'm still learning to live with the differences here, and on top of that I'm learning to live with roommates again. It's sort of like living in a fishbowl and it's been a while since I've had roommates in such a tight-ish space. Lucky for me, we (Gboy, me and Peanut) all get a little space of our own on the second floor, removed enough from my in-laws that I feel we all get some of our own space.
Update: After reading this post from an awesome blogger that I follow, I am reminded of all the wonderful things that come from having lots of family under one roof. And for that, I'm immensely grateful. I firmly believe in silver linings and Mel has shown me, perhaps unintentionally, the silver lining here.
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